I try to be mellow most (okay, some) of the time, but even I have my limits, and lately it feels like I get pushed there more and more, so it’s time to vent about some of the things that piss me off!

1. One of my biggest pet peeves lately are self-checkout lines at the grocery store, Home Depot, and every place else. Half the time I can’t figure them out, and the rest of the time they don’t work anyway. Instead of having that young lady standing by at every other self-checkout lane to come and help me out when I get stuck, why don’t they just put her behind a cash register and let me pay for my stuff and leave? When I go to a store to spend my hard earned money, I don’t want to have to ring up my own stuff. I want somebody to do it for me, then take my money and tell me to have a nice day.

2. I hate it when we go to a buffet restaurant, and the person at the cash register asks me if I get the senior discount. Please don’t make me choose between vanity and frugalness. If I look old enough to qualify for the discount, just give it to me. Otherwise you’ll just waste my time if I am, or insult me if I’m not and you think I look that old!

3. The post office is one of my greatest sources of frustration. Why are they always understaffed? Why does one window clerk always close up just as I get to the front of the line and think I’m finally next? The people who really tick me off at the post office are the little old ladies who want to look at the pictures on every postage stamp in the inventory before they decide which ones to buy. Hey, Grannie, it’s not artwork, it’s a stamp! You’re not going to hang it on the wall and admire it for the next decade. You’re just going to stick it on an envelope and drop it in a mailbox!

4. I hate Mormon missionaries and Jehovah Witnesses who come knocking on my door when the blinds are closed. Those blinds are closed for a reason. Leave me alone! I might be busy reading my bible. Or I might be busy getting lucky. Whatever I’m doing, I don’t want to be interrupted, and I don’t want to talk about it with you! Go away!

5. Physical fitness nuts bother me almost as much as religious nuts. I know I’m out of shape. I spent a lot of time and money getting this way. Stop encouraging me to diet and get into shape. Round is a shape! And don’t tell me it’s for my health! You keep that up and some fat guy like me might get fed up and shoot you, and that would be bad for your health!

6. People who want to impose their religion and their sense of morality on the rest of the world get to me. If you want to go to church on Sunday morning, and it fulfills you, I’m happy for you. If you want to walk around the desert in a loincloth and worship a rock, that’s fine too. Just don’t insist that I worship the same rock that you do. It’s none of my business if you sleep with men, women, or gerbils, as long as you do it behind closed doors and don’t bother me. A lot of the self-righteous, holier than thou types I know are going to be in a lot of trouble if Judgment Day comes and they find out that God is a black, Jewish lesbian!

7. Are you as sick and tired as I am of those Save The Children type television commercials? They’ve been showing me that same little snotty nosed kid named Maria or whatever for the last fifteen years. By now Maria has either grown up and become some drug lord’s main squeeze, or she has slipped over the border and is running an illegal daycare in the apartment next door, hosting an entire platoon of snotty nosed kids. I’m sorry that Maria lives in a cesspool, but I can’t save the entire world, so stop trying to make me feel like I should. I have enough guilt to live with after that stuff I said about Mormon missionaries and Jehovah Witnesses. I don’t need any more.

8. Reality television shows have no basis in reality at all. They are beyond stupid. Even somebody who just had a lobotomy would find them boring. Stop taking off good comedy and drama television shows to give me more “reality programming!” I watch TV to escape reality!

9. When some rude idiot pulls up beside you in traffic with one of those obnoxiously loud stereos that go BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, and shake the fillings out of your teeth, am I the only one who wants to stick something in their window that goes boom too? Okay, I really wouldn’t go that far, but I’d love to have one of those handheld emergency fog horns that boaters use, and stick that in their ear and blow them into the middle of next week. I hate noise pollution!

10. Last, but certainly not least, are the people who blame the current President for everything wrong in society, or those folks on the other side of the issues, who blame the last President for the same things. We didn’t get into this mess in the last year, or even in the last eight years. But until we all stop throwing rocks across party lines and realize we have problems, and start compromising and working together to solve them, things will only get worse. Hey kids, the house is on fire! Let’s put out the damned blaze first, and then we’ll decide who was playing with matches!

Of course, all of these things have one common denominator – stupid people. I don’t know if it’s something in the water, or the result of watching too much reality TV, but we really seem to be awash in idiots lately, and they’re breeding like flies.

I know you can’t fix stupid, but don’t you think that every once in a while, you should at least be allowed to grab it by the throat and choke the living crap out of it?

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35 Comments on 10 Things That Piss Me Off

  1. Cindy -- Wyoming says:

    I agree with you 100% Nick. When it comes to saving “Maria”, what about Joe in Appalachia or other American kids? I also love Churches and organizations that urge you to buy a cow or musk ox for a village in some poor country. Yooohooo – let’s take care of our own poor. There are sections in this country that are in as much need. When I was in Pahrump NV, the school children were holding food and clothing drives with the food being distributed to those school children who did not have food to eat on Saturday or Sunday. The teachers found many of their students who only had one meal a day — their subsidized school lunch. Some also did not have proper winter clothing — coats or shoes. The present economy is what the teacher’s are blaming as one or both parents are no longer employed. We need to take care of Americans first. When our folks are back to work feeding their own kids, we can check up on “Maria”.

    Another peeve — did you know banks don’t want to sell you rolls of quarters? Yip. I’ve run into this a few times lately. One teller actually told me I wasn’t a customer. So much for the value of cash………… SOMEBODY OUT THERE IS HOARDING QUARTERS AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m getting as grumpy as you about so many things lately there are too many to list. I do have a cure for you about the loud car speakers — at Walmart they sell a small air horn in the party section. I bought one to carry with me should I feel threatened when walking alone at night — followed by pepper spray if needed.

  2. George Stoltz says:

    It’s 2:30 a.m. and I can’t sleep. So this is the first time in my life I remember laughing out loud this early in the morning.
    You are not only too funny, Nick, but you hit the nail on the head everytime.

  3. Jim says:

    Go ahead Nick stir up those liberal do-gooders. lets hear it folks …. Bad Nick does it again.

  4. Jim Palm says:

    About #9, the BOOM BOOM’s, when I was Traffic Cop in Detroit I would stop them, yes we had a law against that stuff and I really enforced it, I would give them their choice. They could either accept the $200 to $500 ticket or they could roll up all their windows and turn the volume up to #11 for one minute, covering their ears was not allowed,if they could last the 60 seconds I would give them a warning. Nobody ever got a warning, and when gave them their ticket I had to shout so they could hear what I was saying.
    The best was when after getting a ticket they would drive off with the BOOM BOOM going again, I would pull the over again and they would just look at me and say I already got my ticket you can’t write me agian. Oh how wrong they were.

  5. Georgina Bryant says:

    Well said Nick! Nothing like being brutally honest. It sets you free.

  6. don says:

    Jeez! A ‘Top 10’ list that I agree with completely! Well, maybe I’d reorganize it a bit but all are on my ‘annoying’ list too. Great list!

  7. Sandy Stoltz says:

    As we travel we always try to leave the environment in better shape than we found it. That means picking up trash along a shoreline or in a state park. My BIGGEST pet peeve lately are the smokers who carelessly throw their butts on the ground. Hello folks, they will still be there in 20 years!

    PICK UP YOUR BUTTS SO I DON’T HAVE TO. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

  8. Doug says:

    Boy, someone was grumpy last night. I like #10. Problems have taken a long time to build up and will take a long tome to resolve. Too bad everyone is too busy pointing fingers to try to help out. #1 about the self serve checkouts is different. I mostly like them because I don’t have to wait in line as long. It’s like self serve gasoline. Oregon doesn’t have it and I wait in line for the one slow dimwit to wander over and pump my gas and then wander over again to stop pumping and give me the receipt. In most other stated I can just pull up, get the gas and get out.

  9. MichaelG says:

    #1. Old farts who watch reality TV then complain about it.

    #2. Old farts who choose the self-service checkout line then complain about it.

    #3. Old farts who expect a discount at a restaurant just because they are old. Then complain about it.

    #4. People who hate change. Get used to it.

    :-)

  10. Karen Lueck says:

    I’m with you on the self check-out! It’s quicker to just stand in line than to fool with those things where some lady is nagging you to put the item in the bag!

  11. Deb says:

    Right on, Nick!! I was cracking up as I drink my morning coffee.
    I REALLY try not to go to the self-serve lanes anywhere because invariably I’m going to screw it up and the lady has to come over ANYWAY. PLUS by not using them it is my protest against them. That slot and others like it can provide one or two more jobs for people. Think about it…the population is increasing with every kid born and every immigrant, while stores and factories et al are automating and downsizing and outsourcing overseas. Do the math!
    I like the airhorn idea too…the bigger the better!

  12. Chris Koeppel says:

    Those are great. I agree with you 100%. We enjoy reading your bloggs & paper.

  13. Bob says:

    And I thought it was just me….. What the heck is going on out there??…What is in store for the next few years??..Humanity really F#$% UP?

  14. We have solved the self checkout lane at Home Depot and Lowes — doesn’t work in grocery stores, though. Suzy needs a handicapped cart in those big places (thank whoever brought those to the retail world!) and my knee doesn’t work so well. If we can grab those carts, the helper lady at Lowes and Home Depot will usually come over and do the job for us! But we 100% agree with your other 9 issues!

    As for #6, we are pretty avid about getting ourselves to church and taking part, and we wish everyone else could find that connection. HOWEVER – we’re not going to push it down everyone else’s throat or wish they didn’t get to scrunge around and do nothing on Sunday mornings while we dress up a little and go kneel in church. That’s their business, not ours.

  15. Bad Nick and Sheriff Joe are my two greatest Hero’s….THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY.

  16. Ed Hackenbruch says:

    #11. People that block the aisle in a store with their shopping cart while they are looking at an item or talking to someone while being totally oblivious that there are people that want to get by them. Shopping carts need to have air horns on them!!!!

  17. Cal Hall says:

    Nick,

    You got it right again. You would think that with the many of us who think this way that we should be able to fix it.

  18. Karen Knoll says:

    You are so “right on”!…and Bill Engvahl is right “You can’t fix stupid!” All the demonstrations we see on TV show young people with signs and shouts. Wouldn’t it be something if all us retirees started a movement (no pun intended) and let the world know how fed up we are instead of just bitching about it among ourselves…UP-URS…United People…Under Repressed Seniors!

  19. Ed Hackenbruch says:

    #12. People in parking lots that get out of their car and walk right out in front of you with out even looking for traffic and then proceed to walk right down the middle of road in front of you. Makes you wonder how they managed to survive this long…..somebody should have run over them years ago and improved the gene pool.

  20. Velma Peugh says:

    I totally agree with all of these, and I know you proably could find 10 more things, but you forgot a pet peeve of mine..Why do dog owners think they can just let they dog poop and walk away like it wasn’t their dog that did it??? Pick it up for Gosh Sakes!!

  21. Jan Mains says:

    I think you forgot one. How about “push one for English”? I know if I saw a business that advertised “English only spoken here”, I’d do business with them.

  22. Kay F. Brown says:

    Oh my Oh my Well said…you never dissapoint me! Add the panhandlers at the exits and you have my vote for the moment! Those guys are making a living doing it. Some have been here for a long time and they stand there all day. Couldn’t figure out how they can stand there all day! Well some make upwards of $400 a day……I’d stand there too. :( But the aggressive drunk ones piss me off too! I ran a red light the other day getting away from one. That’s my pet peeve today. We’re headed to Tucson today too….will stop off at the Air Museum and go over to the Tohono Chul Park. We better see some of these things before they close them up too …like the rest areas…..oh another pet peeve.

  23. You are really funny!!! Thanks for brightening my day. On the stupid people item: don’t forget that half the people in this country have 100 IQ or less. Politicians have known that for some time. That’s why they talk “Bumper-Sticker.”

  24. LOL Thanks for the mid-day chuckle! Now I can go back to work in a good mood. :-)

  25. katie says:

    HURRAY for Bad NICK! Will you marry me?? :0)

  26. Linda says:

    Ah, Bad Nick, it’s like you read my mind and put it into print. Actually the population is being dumbed down through our educational system. Students are being taught to pass tests, not how to think for themselves. After all, idiots who can’t think for themselves are much easier to control, be it through government or religion.

    I always enjoy the Bad Nick posts….keep them coming.

  27. Jim Weise says:

    Those of us who know how to use the self checkout line really appreciate those who don’t using cashier checkout.
    You’re right on about save the kids – want to save the next generation of drug dealers or terrorists?

  28. kari says:

    Ahh..stupidity. Stupidity is what makes me want to leave my job and go travel and live in an RV. I deal with purchase orders at my job and I’m always making sure I’m deducting from the appropriate accounts. Often times I need funds to fix something or replace something as a result of a stupid decision from a staff – I mumbled out loud we should have an account for stupidity. Someone else blurted ‘we would go bankrupt way too fast!’

    I agree with #10

    Thanks for sharing.

    Kari

  29. Jim@HiTek says:

    I agree with everything you said! You’re like my twin or something.

    I particularly dislike self serve checkout lanes. It’s been said that “Every time an American uses a self checkout stand, another American looses a job”. I avoid them like the plague because of that. I’ve been in stores where there are 10 good Americans standing in line for a human checker with no one using the self serves and I’ve also been in areas where anti-American types are filling those damn things with just a couple of live checkers available. Several jobs gone.

    I’m asking you, people, if you won’t support your own, who will you support? (Yes, I always try to buy American).

    Of course, I’m swimming upstream. Just last year, I was in a Home Depot and there were NO checkers except the gal at the ‘help’ desk near the self check out stands. I REFUSED TO BUY that way and told them why. Fat lot of good it will do when most of you people will just use the self check out next time you’re out shopping. Sorry for the rant.

  30. Chuck says:

    My wife says this is a written version of my weekly diatribe. I have this theory that our republic is coming to an end because we have finally reached a level in excess of 50% of stupid(and lazy) people in this country who have realized that they can vote to get the government to give them everything they need to lead their worthless lives. Oh-yes that includes breeding large amounts of more stupid people. They do this in part because we give them extra welfare to do so. Let us hope that the mid term elections really do vote out every incumbent and we can start over.

  31. Marianne says:

    #13 When driving you graciously allow someone to walk across the street in front of you and they walk like their feet are in molasses. URRRRRRRR!!!

  32. Jan Chilson says:

    Interesting post Nick. I’m surprised we’re friends since I see myself in about 8 of your top 10. I didn’t think I was stupid:)

  33. Bill Joyce says:

    Ed Hackenbruch: I get the feeling you are in the Yuma Foothills since #11 sounds like the Fry’s grocery store there.

  34. Ed Hackenbruch says:

    Bill Joyce, Yes we are, and that is exactly the place i had in mind when posting that!!!! :>)

  35. Allan Webster says:

    #13 People too lazy to return the shopping carts to the cart return racks and leave them blocking parking spaces where they can roll into someones car and scratch the paint. Totally inconsiderate.

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