What can I say? Just open any newspaper, they’re everywhere!
Police in Daytona Beach, Florida report that Melanese Asia Reid became upset with the service at a Wendy’s drive-thru lane, so she and friend Katrina Mari-Alyce Bryant went into the restaurant, where Reid, with a pink stun gun in her hand, chased an employee. Bryant cheered her friend on as she terrified the restaurant employee. The women left the restaurant when a manager told them he was calling the police. Not content to let it drop there, the brainiac later called the restaurant to complain about their service, allowing police to track the call and arrest her on charges of assault with a deadly weapon. Bryant was charged with being a principal to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
An Alabama high school teacher drew the attention of the Secret Service when he explained a geometry lesson on parallel lines and angles by telling students where to stand and aim their gun if they were going to assassinate President Barack Obama. An agent from the Birmingham Secret Service office interviewed the teacher, whose name has not been released, and decided that he was not a credible threat to the President, and the case was closed. School Superintendent Phil Hammonds said school officials would have a “long talk” with the teacher about what was appropriate in a classroom. I wonder if the home economics class is making KKK robes and hoods out of sheets as part of a class project.
Is there something in the water down south that leads to stupidity? A restaurant waitress complained on her Facebook page about a couple who sat at her table for three hours, and then left her a measly $5 tip. The rant included the name of the restaurant she was employed at. A few days later 22 year old Ashley Johnson received notice that she was being fired for violating company policy banning workers from speaking badly about customers or putting the restaurant in a bad public position.
Of course, the South doesn’t have a monopoly on idiots. Take for example 19 year old Nicole April Kelly of Philadelphia, who was under arrest in Juniata County and waiting to be extradited to another county to face charges, when she escaped from deputies. She ran inside the Brown Funeral Home and hid inside a coffin, where the funeral director found her and called police. Now she has additional charges of escape, and was being held on $75,000 bail, as well as owing restitution to the funeral home for damage to the coffin. That’s just weird.
Out west, a couple of real winners were arrested in Pueblo, Colorado after they used an 18-pack of beer to rob a convenience store. Police said that the men stole three cases of Bud Light, and hit a clerk with one of them during the robbery. Police tracked the thieves to a nearby house, where they found them and the stolen beer.
Other countries also have their fair share of Dumb A$$es. Musician Tom Kaulitz told a German newspaper that he fell ill after overdosing on Viagra tablets and “could not see straight” for days. Kaulitz said that he took one Viagra, and then “I popped a few more pills, probably too many. The next morning my head was pounding and everything in front of my eyes was blurry. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was pretty bad.” He said it took two days for the medicine’s effects to wear off. My Dad told me that doing that would make me go blind, and I guess the old man was right!
Tags: Alabama, armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, coffin, Daytona Beach Florida, Facebook, Funeral Home, geometry lesson, German newspaper, high school teacher, Musician Tom Kaulitz, newspaper, Philadelphia, police, President Barack Obama, Pueblo Colorado, restaurant waitress, School officials, Secret Service, stun gun, Viagra