If you turn a television on during the daytime, or watch any late night TV, you know how often viewers are bombarded with advertisement after advertisement telling them that if they have used just about any kind of prescription drug, fallen off a ladder, been in an accident, or ever had a hangnail, they can sue somebody for financial compensation.
I guess the federal government’s bureaucrats must be watching too much television, because lately they’ve been on a suing spree. After announcing that the Justice Department was suing the State of Arizona over its tough new immigration law this past summer, they have now gone even further, and now the government is thinking about suing itself! Huh?
This latest insanity came about this week after U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips ordered the military to stop its “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. In response, the Obama administration is considering filing an appeal of Judge Phillips’ ruling. President Obama wants to see the persecution of gay military members ended, but he wants Congress to repeal the 1993 law that says gays may serve in the military only if they keep secret their sexual orientation.
Okay, Congress wouldn’t get off its collective lazy ass to deal with the problem of illegal aliens, so Arizona took matters into its own hands and enacted its own immigration law. In response, the Justice Department filed a lawsuit to block the law. For years the same Congress hasn’t had the backbone to stand up to the homophobic religious right and end the arcane treatment of gays in the military, so a federal judge finally said enough and issued a ruling to settle the matter, and now the Justice Department is going back into court to overturn the ruling. Do you see a pattern here? What a great way to spend our tax dollars.
Between all of the TV commercials from ambulance chasers, and the news stories about the federal lawsuits, I got to thinking, and I’ve decided that I’m going to sue myself.
I need to lose a lot of weight, and let’s be honest, if I’d get off my rear end and take a walk now and then, or push myself away from the dinner table, or eat veggies instead of junk food, I could do it. But I’d rather sit around on the couch punching buttons on my remote control and watching re-runs of Frasier and Everyone Loves Raymond.
I’m a halfway decent writer, and I have a few books out, but I have several more in the works. I just haven’t finished them. I’d rather check in with my friends on Facebook and cruise internet porn sites than sit here and write.
My RV is filthy, and I really need to wash and wax it. But again, I have re-runs to watch and the Internet to surf, and I never get around to it.
I know I could be a healthier, thinner, more successful guy, living in a spanky clean motorhome, and I have only myself to blame because I’m not. So I’m going to do just what the federal government is doing – I’m going to sue myself!
Of course, I can’t afford an attorney because of my financial limitations due to the causes listed above, so I’ll have to both prosecute my case and defend myself. And if I do happen to win, my chances of collecting from myself are pretty slim (see reasons listed above). But what the heck, it needs to be done. 10,000 shyster lawyers and the United States Justice Department can’t be wrong!
Tags: ambulance chasers, Arizona immigration law, bureaucrats, Congress, daytime television, don’t ask don’t tell policy, Facebook, Federal government, filing a lawsuit, frivolous lawsuits, gays in the military, homophobic, illegal aliens, Justice Department, Justice Department suing the State of Arizona, late night TV, lawyers advertising, prescription drug, religious right, sue for financial compensation