My wife and I have not been getting along lately, and I’m really fed up. No matter what I say or do, she objects and wants to do just the opposite. The woman won’t listen to reason and refuses to see my point of view, no matter what the topic.
A good example was our trip to the grocery store last week. My wife loves salads, fresh vegetables, and “healthy” food. I have no problem with that, except she insists I eat the same stuff too, and I hate vegetables. I love junk food and sweets, and I’d much rather have a steak or a greasy cheeseburger with French fries seven days a week.
So we’re pushing our darned shopping cart through the supermarket, and I put a box of Frosted Flakes cereal in the cart. Terry said I needed to lay off of the sugar coated cereal and eat healthier, then replaced the Frosted Flakes with Special K in our cart. Damn it, I’m a grown man, I know what I like, so I put two boxes of Frosted Flakes back into the cart!
In another aisle, I picked up a couple of steaks, some hamburger, and a package of pork chops. “No way,” said Terry, “We’re eating turkey burgers tonight” and there she went, trying to substitute her tasteless “healthy choices” for the red meat and pork I love. Well, nobody does that to me! I wasn’t really in the mood for it, but I added a pound of bacon and a package of sausage links to the cart, and tossed her silly turkey burgers back in the cooler when she was looking the other way.
And so it went – I wanted whole milk, she insisted on 2%, and we took turns taking one out of the cooler and replacing it with the other. She wanted Splenda artificial sweetener, and I wanted real sugar, and that took another fifteen minutes to squabble over. We finally just left the damned cart sitting in the middle of the aisle and stormed out of the store. All the way home, my wife was complaining that she had spent hours working up a shopping list, making sure it fit our budget, and I had totally ignored it and bulled straight ahead doing whatever I wanted.
Fortunately for us, we had some leftovers for supper that night, or we’d have gone hungry. But even that caused an argument. Being a woman, she wanted to have a romantic dinner to make up, even if it was just a dinner of leftovers. So she set the table with her grandmother’s china and even lit a candle. I’m a guy; who needs that foo foo crap? I got out paper plates, blew out the candle, and tuned on the lights so I could see what I was eating. Obviously, that didn’t go over too well either.
So here we are, not a thing to eat in the house, not speaking except to snap at each other, and to make matters worse, apparently I chipped one of her precious plates putting it away.
Does this sound familiar? No, not in your marriage (or maybe there too), but doesn’t that sound just like the idiots we all have been sending to Washington to represent us for years now?
One party gets elected and spends half their time undoing whatever policies the previous administration had put in place, and the rest of their time pushing their own agenda through. And then, guess what? Another election rolls around, the balance of power shifts, and they start the whole process in reverse!
Nobody cares about actually accomplishing anything, it’s more important to tear down whatever the last guy tried to build up, whether it was right or wrong. And in the process, just like that shopping cart I told you about, the poor country gets abandoned. Because after all, it not really about solving our problems, is it? It’s all about making a point. Compromise? What’s that? It’s my way or the highway!
Here’s a simple way to solve all of this nonsense. First of all, with apologies to my lady readers, we need to get all of the women out of office. Electing them was a mistake, and not one of them has what it takes to help lead our country. They are ill-equipped.
Then we take the top guy from each political party, grab a tape measure, and tell them to drop their trousers. Because after all, it’s really just about proving “Mine’s bigger” isn’t it?