My wife and I have not been getting along lately, and I’m really fed up. No matter what I say or do, she objects and wants to do just the opposite. The woman won’t listen to reason and refuses to see my point of view, no matter what the topic.

A good example was our trip to the grocery store last week. My wife loves salads, fresh vegetables, and “healthy” food. I have no problem with that, except she insists I eat the same stuff too, and I hate vegetables. I love junk food and sweets, and I’d much rather have a steak or a greasy cheeseburger with French fries seven days a week.

So we’re pushing our darned shopping cart through the supermarket, and I put a box of Frosted Flakes cereal in the cart. Terry said I needed to lay off of the sugar coated cereal and eat healthier, then replaced the Frosted Flakes with Special K in our cart. Damn it, I’m a grown man, I know what I like, so I put two boxes of Frosted Flakes back into the cart!

In another aisle, I picked up a couple of steaks, some hamburger, and a package of pork chops. “No way,” said Terry, “We’re eating turkey burgers tonight” and there she went, trying to substitute her tasteless “healthy choices” for the red meat and pork I love. Well, nobody does that to me! I wasn’t really in the mood for it, but I added a pound of bacon and a package of sausage links to the cart, and tossed her silly turkey burgers back in the cooler when she was looking the other way.

And so it went – I wanted whole milk, she insisted on 2%, and we took turns taking one out of the cooler and replacing it with the other. She wanted Splenda artificial sweetener, and I wanted real sugar, and that took another fifteen minutes to squabble over. We finally just left the damned cart sitting in the middle of the aisle and stormed out of the store. All the way home, my wife was complaining that she had spent hours working up a shopping list, making sure it fit our budget, and I had totally ignored it and bulled straight ahead doing whatever I wanted.

Fortunately for us, we had some leftovers for supper that night, or we’d have gone hungry. But even that caused an argument. Being a woman, she wanted to have  a romantic dinner to make up, even if it was just a dinner of leftovers. So she set the table with her grandmother’s china and even lit a candle. I’m a guy; who needs that foo foo crap? I got out paper plates, blew out the candle, and tuned on the lights so I could see what I was eating. Obviously, that didn’t go over too well either.

So here we are, not a thing to eat in the house, not speaking except to snap at each other, and to make matters worse, apparently I chipped one of her precious plates putting it away.

Does this sound familiar? No, not in your marriage (or maybe there too), but doesn’t that sound just like the idiots we all have been sending to Washington to represent us for years now?

One party gets elected and spends half their time undoing whatever policies the previous administration had put in place, and the rest of their time pushing their own agenda through. And then, guess what? Another election rolls around, the balance of power shifts, and they start the whole process in reverse!

Nobody cares about actually accomplishing anything, it’s more important to tear down whatever the last guy tried to build up, whether it was right or wrong. And in the process, just like that shopping cart I told you about, the poor country gets abandoned. Because after all, it not really about solving our problems, is it? It’s all about making a point. Compromise? What’s that? It’s my way or the highway!

Here’s a simple way to solve all of this nonsense. First of all, with apologies to my lady readers, we need to get all of the women out of office. Electing them was a mistake, and not one of them has what it takes to help lead our country. They are ill-equipped.

Then we take the top guy from each political party, grab a tape measure, and tell them to drop their trousers. Because after all, it’s really just about proving  “Mine’s bigger” isn’t it?

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22 Comments on My Way Or The Highway

  1. Chris says:

    Nick what did you eat? Arsenic? I do hope your analogy was just that! I don’t believe for one minute that you and Miss Terry fought in the grocery store! ALL women out of office…I just think you are trying to stir up shoot! Ok you did. Can’t wait to read the comments! Lol
    Your nightowl friend Chris

  2. Nick Russell says:

    Of course we didn’t Chris. I’m still able to write, aren’t it? As for women out of office, given my anaology, they can’t “measure up.”

  3. You had me till you both stormed out of the store…just can’t picture either one of you doing that :)

    I agree things need to happen in our government and stop all the haggling and get to work doing what needs to be done. I hope with some of the new people in office that things will change and for the better.

    Thanks for letting Bad Nick share…he is always thought provoking.

  4. Gina Ellis says:

    Even tongue in cheek, my boy, I’m surprised that you’re still alive at all after that crack about women in office. If you were mine you’d at least be severely injured and walking (if at all) with crutches.

    Miss Terry must be very, very laid back…or, she doesn’t read your blog.

    I’m willing to bet that you and Greg had a bet on how long it would take me to nail your silly hide. And yes, I realize that you were merely trying to make a point. However, some of the idiots out there won’t realize it and will take you at your word. Sing on, McDuff.

  5. are all politions idiots or all idoits politions my dad who was in law enforcement always said that in order to be a polition you had to be stupid a lairer and a thief

  6. Fred Hammer says:

    I’ll side with Bad Nick on the sugar issue. REAL SUGAR has only 15 calories per level teaspoon, (16 according to Dr. Oz.) and only 25 calories per heaping teaspoon. That has to be better for you than that chemically produced stuff.

  7. Garry says:

    Wow Nick I am wondering about your readers. I don’t think anyone really got the point of this little story judging by the comments.

  8. Steve says:

    Better yet, get rid of all the men in Congress and let the women run the show! Different measurements would be required, I admit.
    I’m imagining a bunch of June Cleavers and Marion Cunninghams. They’d get all the Housework (and Senatework) done and still have time to bake cookies. Maybe with a few Lucy Arnez’s thrown in for comedy. None of those high powered Hillarys, Sarahs and Nancys, though. Much too pushy.

  9. Butch says:

    Well Nick,

    IF you really tried to pick up a couple of STREAKS, I can only imagine how Terry might deal with that (or maybe I can’t) given the kind of STREAKS that might even consider getting in your cart to go home with you!

    Butch

    (Oh yea, I never did get your Bikini size)

  10. william says:

    And here I thought you were for SARAH PALIN.

  11. Sometimes truth comes out between the lines! My husband feels the same way about his food. We have been married for 44 years There is no way I could change his eating habits. I’m afraid our goverment is the same way!Talk on the news is the pre-election will start soon. God help us.

  12. Paul Stough says:

    We will get better politicians when we get better voters.

    Paul

  13. Dave B. says:

    Right now it’s the Republicans playing spoil sport because of the Democratic President. When his term is up, we may end up with a Republican President. Then the Democrats will in turn play spoil sport and poo-poo everything that is trying to be passed. The American people are the ones who suffer because of it. Maybe it’s time for a 3rd party in America?

  14. Al Hays says:

    I did not believe your first sentence and it got progressivly worse from there. You have strayed across the line to ridiculous in an effort to make a point. One of your worst posts in my opinion. Your cave man mentality shines through.

  15. Julia Watson says:

    Al its called sarcasm. Sorry your caveman mentality doesn’t allow you to get it. I did and I thought it was one of Bad Nicks best posts ever!! I bet you get offended by the Geico Insurance caveman TV adds too, don’t you?

  16. Linda Reyes says:

    Geeze people, where are you coming from? Read Nick’s post and THINK! The blog is not about food and its not about bashing women. It’s an example of just how silly and childish our elected officials are and why we take one step forward and two steps backward with every election.

    I agree with Dave B about needing a third party, but I sure don’t think it’s the Tea Party. It started out good but has deteriorated to where it’s now just more radicals jumping on the bandwagon to get noticed instead of really trying to fix things.

  17. Linda Sand says:

    The Decline and Fall of the US Empire. We got too big for our britches and our heads swelled to match our fat you-know-whats. It’s too late for us folks. We gave our power to people who didn’t deserve it and we don’t know how to get it back. Insanity is often defined as doing the same thing while expecting different results which is what we do–elect politicians while expecting things to change. Makes me glad I don’t have grandkids.

  18. Denise Gray says:

    It was pretty easy to figure out that the grocery shopping was tongue in cheek.( Terry would have won the argument!) Nick, if there were more women in Congress, we wouldn’t be in two un-winable wars, our vets would be treated better, and we would have a balanced budget with health care for all!

  19. Cal Hall says:

    Great job stirring it up this time and a great point too.

  20. bucky says:

    Great way to make a point about the people we have in office Nick, but after 45 years of marriage to the same woman, I think some of the other may have had a slight ring of truth.

  21. Dale says:

    I agree with Denise.

  22. Al Hays says:

    Ahhh, Julia Watson your comment confims Nick’s post that people choose to tear down anothers opinion rather than provide a solution. I understand sarcasm just fine, thank you, but your comical obsequesiousness and sycophantic comments show that you did not understand that my comment mirrors Nick’s in straying to the ridiculous. Remember, the topic was my way or the highway. My opinion was different than Nick so it was the highway for him. Therefore my worst posts comment ( an exageration or stray to the ridiculous ).

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