We’ve all seen that television commercial where somebody calls customer support and gets “Peggy,” a hairy foreigner in some Third World call center, who always answers by saying “This is Peggy.”  But trust me, there are worse things than getting connected with Peggy!

My wife and I were watching television last night, when I switched to the Hallmark channel, and got a message on my TV screen saying I was experiencing partial signal loss. Then the message switched to full signal loss. I tried switching back to the previous channel, but could not get away from that same screen. I tried our bedroom TV, and it was working fine until I switched to Hallmark, and it locked on the same screen.

We have had Dish Network for years, and I am well versed in all of the easy fixes – resetting the DVR box, turning the system off and then back on, disconnecting power to the receiver. None of them worked. Damn, it’s time to call customer support and talk to Peggy. :(

But I was in luck! I got a tech right here in the good old USA, who ignored my explanation of what I had already done to troubleshoot the problem, and walked me through all of them again. Since none of those worked, he switched me to the next level of support, also in the USA.

While I was on hold, I pushed the Menu button and the program guide came up. I chose another channel and it went there just fine. When the new tech came on the line, I told her that, and she had me repeat the same steps as before, and again no Hallmark channel. Okay, time to go to the next level of support. That’s when things went to hell.

The third tech asked my name and the number on my account, and when I told him, he said, “No, that’s wrong.” Huh? No, that’s right. He insisted my name and phone number were wrong, and told me my account number was for William and Mary Roan. He asked if that was me, and I told him no. Then he said “Are you sure?”

I kid you not. Am I sure I am not William Roan, and that my wife is not Mary Roan. Well, I’m pretty sure, because when I was very young and very stupid, I had my name tattooed on my left arm. It actually has worked out well, I use it as secondary ID, and I figure if I ever get too drunk to find my way home, at least the cab driver will know who’s passed out in his backseat. Since I never drink, and have been a cabbie and seen what happens in those backseats, that probably will never happen.  

I’m also sure my wife is not Mary Roan, because whenever I call her Mary when we’re making love, she gets mad and it ruins the whole mood. (She does the same thing if I call her Bambi or Trixie, or any of my ex-wives names, even if we are not making love!)

Well, since I wasn’t who Dish Network thought I was, they decided to go ahead and figure out the technical problem first, and then we’d work on the whole identity issue next. So we tried even more tricks to resolve the problem, and finally the tech assured me that he knew what was wrong. I had lost all of my HD channels! I asked him how that happened, and what we could do to fix it. He said “I don’t know. It’s not our problem. Call the folks who made the rooftop satellite dish on your motorhome. And thank you for being a valued Dish customer for all these years.” Yeah, I’m so darned valuable that “it’s not their problem.”

Okay, what about the whole William and Mary Roan thing? For that, they had to transfer me to security. Security seemed to be having a party, because even though the guy sort of spoke English, like as in drunk college kid English, there was so much loud music and laughing in the background that it was almost impossible to understand him.

He also wanted me to check to be sure I’m not William Roan. Nope, same old tattoo that says Nick. (Just to be sure, I slapped my wife on the rump and said “You’re looking pretty hot tonight, Mary.” I think the swelling in my eye will go down in a day or so, and the cut on my lip has almost stopped bleeding.) Nope, not William and Mary.

Well, he hemmed and hawed a while, checked my address and account number two or three times, and really didn’t know what to say. While he was doing that, just for the hell of it, I switched back to the Hallmark channel, and it works, as do all of my HD channels! Whatever was wrong seems to have fixed itself.

So today I’ll call Dish again, and see if the folks who work during the week are any smarter than those who work on the weekend, and why the first two or three techs had my name and info right, but the last one and the security people want me to be William Roan.

I have to tell you, I miss Peggy! :(      

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18 Comments on I Miss Peggy

  1. Barry Crocker says:

    LMAO!!!! Been there, done that.

  2. Allan says:

    Great post Nick. It sounds like Peggy has all [his/her] relatives working with Dish support.

  3. CoolJudy says:

    I know that your in-line advertisements are not something you control, but I really had to laugh out loud when I read Bad Nick’s comments about Dish TV and then saw the AdChoice following paragraph #1 was for DirecTV.
    ———————
    DIRECTV® For Business
    Save $13/mo for 3mo with DIRECTV & Get Access to 50+ Chs. Buy Today
    http://www.DIRECTV.com/Business
    ————————

  4. Brad Barnes says:

    It doesn’t matter if its Dish or Direct you will have the same problems. It makes you wonder who they hire for these jobs. I guess there are a lot of Peggy’s out there.

  5. Phyllis East says:

    Waiting to hear if any better luck with the week staff.

  6. Julee says:

    very funny post! I have been through almost the exact same thing with DirecTV. My solution….ripped out both tvs…problem solved. Now, does anyone want to buy a slightly used KVH internet satellite system that I paid $3000 for and now its an expensive roof ornament…LOL.

  7. OMG…Great post ! Thanks for a great laugh.

  8. Sal & Bonnie says:

    Well I say to you that was funny and have been there too with
    Direc Tv. with some of the same problem’s . I think that they all go to the same tech school and some make Peggy look good .

  9. John says:

    My daughter’s DishTV is doing the same thing and they live in a house. Several of their friends are having the same problem too. I believe it’s NOT in your auto dish. Good Luck

  10. Ruth Moyer says:

    God that was funny! No wonder people drink. How can you not when dealing with blockheads like that?

  11. Andy T. says:

    Okay, now I have to know WHAT do they do in those taxicab back seats???? There have to be some great stories there. Is there another book in that?

  12. Elaine & Mike says:

    Great Blog,I have to agree, neither Direct or Dish are easy to deal with. We have had similar problems with direct TV. Your were lucky that you got a person you could understand. I always seem to have to deal with a person from either India or last time it was Pakistan and neither were much help. I thank the good Lord when I actually can deal with an person here in the states.

  13. I solved all those problems myself. I don’t use either Dish or Direct, and when the RV park I’m in has cable, I usually don’t look at that either. Then I don’t have to talk to Peggy — except for phone problems, computer problems, etc. Actually for computer problems I talk to Rick up in British Columbia. He’s a whiz!

  14. ZoAnn Lapinsky says:

    I first thought this was a confession-type of article, because I misread the title as, “I’m Miss Piggy.” Glad it wasn’t that, because “I Miss Peggy” was hilarious. Thanks for my morning laugh.

  15. Linda says:

    Yep, that’s the way it works. You call them and it’s never their problem…but a few minutes later everything works like it’s supposed to. Must be MAGIC. At least that’s the best explanation I can come up with. Works the same way with Internet providers.

  16. Sam and Tana says:

    Sam and I travel each summer to different states and have had this same problem every summer. Dish network has assured us that they have RV specialist but we only get to talk to them after we go through the check everything process with one or two other techs. They have never thought we were anyone else but we’ll be sure they don’t next summer. Some how our experience just didn’t seem as funny as when you wrote about yours.

  17. joan bellerby says:

    Thanks for posting it made me laugh so hard I had tears. I know these things happen. When we bought our new computer, got it home we could not find how to turn it on. We went over the whole computer with salesman, left the store. But of course it was never shut off. We called tech support, explained we could not find the start up button. We got someone from India tried to explain, he told us to go on line for support, we said “can’t get computer on”. Three different people said same thing. We did not receive a manual, we were told the manual is on line, DAAH! Finally we found the start up button inside the right hinge, go figure. It sure was frustrating even tho now it is funny.

  18. MauiGal says:

    I just know I’m going to die of a massive brain hemmorage somsday from dealing with some “Peggy”.

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