Q. What goes “clip clop, clip clop, bang bang, clip clop?”

A. An Amish drive by shooting. :)

Yeah, I agree. That was a totally tasteless joke. But just go with me on this one, and you may see that it’s really not that far from the truth.

A few weeks ago, we were exploring the back roads of Indiana’s Amish country, east of Elkhart. Driving past a group of young Amish schoolboys on their way home, I waved at them, and was shocked when a boy of about 11 or 12 flashed me a gang sign in return. Did I really see that? Naa… it couldn’t be. I must have been mistaken. It was probably just a friendly wave of the hand. But it sure looked like a gang sign to me, and believe me, I’ve seen a few of them in my time. Where the heck would an Amish kid even learn something like that?

I’ve always respected the Amish for their simpler lifestyle, which shuns most of the conveniences of the “English” world, as they call those of us who are not part of their religion. It’s not a lifestyle I could embrace, but more power to them. Okay, power may not have been the correct phrase, but you get the idea.

At the same time, I understand that the Amish are people, just like you and me, with all of our human failings. Still, a news story out of Holmes County, Ohio this week really blew me away.

It seems that a group of religious outcasts of the faith, who have been shunned by the mainstream Amish community for their association with a leader recently convicted of sexual contact with a minor, are accused of several home invasions against other Amish families.

Police reports said that the incidents have happened in four Ohio counties with large Amish populations. The suspects are accused of entering homes at night and forcibly cutting off the hair and beards of their victims, who have ranged in age from a 13 year old girl to a 74 year old man. Amish men traditionally do not cut their beards once they marry, and Amish women do not cut their hair, following their religious beliefs.

The police reports say that the attacks have involved as many as 20 or 30 men and women attacking victims at once. In some cases, the cutting was done inside the homes, while in others the victims were dragged outside in the middle of the night and assaulted. One elderly woman was slammed against a wall in one of the home invasions. Another report said at least one victim was attacked in the daytime while driving his buggy. Would we call this a buggy jacking?

Say it isn’t so! If we lose the Amish, what’s next? Jehovah’s Witnesses distributing pornography door to door along with the Watchtower? Mormons selling knockoff designer tennis shoes on street corners? Rigged bingo games at the Catholic church? And I don’t even want to think what the Baptists might be up to! Oh Lord, save me from your people!    

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14 Comments on Amish Gangstas

  1. Jon Ensminger says:

    For the past three weeks we are staying in Lancaster County, Pa. We are in the heart of old order Mennonite country and that is surrounded by a lot of Amish. Just the other day we saw a pair of shoes on an electrical wire that goes across the road that signifies gang territory. We know that there is no gangs in this area, but we might well be wrong.

  2. Dennis M says:

    Sad. As much as I admire many aspects of Amish society, the truth remains that a regressive and repressive society will often foment revolution. There is much evil done in this world by the rigid enforcement of religious mores.

  3. Elaine & Mike says:

    As sad as it is the Amish are only human and there is good and bad in each.Sometimes evil wins.

  4. Jack B. says:

    This is a direct result of Obama and how his liberal/socialist agenda is destroying the very fabric of American society. All of us have lost our vision and direction, even those who live outside the mainstream like the Amish.

  5. Richard Lowell says:

    Must you ALWAYS find a way to attack every religion except your own Nick?

  6. Nick Russell says:

    Richard, I don’t have an official religion. I always figured that any church that would have me would be in too much trouble for me to be involved in.

    But I do believe in God, and I think that one of the greatest gifts he ever gave us was a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at life, and even ourselves from time to time. I’m sorry so many people seem to have been left out of that.

  7. Perry G. says:

    Don’t know about this issue, but I will tell you that an Amish guy in that part of Ohio screwed us out of a $2500 deposit we paid to get some custom furniture made. Every time we went back to get it, from the promised delivery date for over a year afterard, he always said he had a little delay. That went on for over a year, and then whenever I went there (couldn’t call, no phone) his wife would come out and say he was either away, or sick in bed. The last time we went, nobody would answer the door, though we saw them inside as we pulled up.

  8. Terri Greene says:

    Really, Jack? Obama? Is that the best you can come up with? Is he responsible for the flu I had last winter and the fact that my car needed new brakes last month too?

  9. john says:

    Jack B “” This is a direct result of Obama “” how do you even relate the two. ???????

  10. Francis Callahan says:

    I hate ro see the Amis people having tgroules the ones we have met in Lancaster Pa hjave really been the nices people.

  11. Dee Fisher says:

    Nick, I have always considered myself a Christian and a believer in and supporter of the church Christ and his first followers established here on earth. However, it never ceases to amaze me how little of God’s love is sometimes exhibited by some who claim to follow Christ’s teachings. Whatever happened to “turn the other cheek”? (And I don’t mean that facetiously.) I agree, sometimes we need to laugh at such antics, because, otherwise, we might cry at the sheer foolishness of such behavior.

  12. concerned in West Virginia says:

    Jack B.

    Are you educated? Do you ever think before you write? I’ve read a lot of ignorant statements in my life and yours is right up there with the worst of them.

  13. Bob says:

    Wait. Was that “Jack”, or “Jackass”?
    I guess I’m mixed up.

  14. Connie Bradih says:

    Please disagree without calling names. While I don’t like Obama, I don’t think this one is his fault. He has a lot to answer for but not this one.

    I am just sorry to see that it appears to be a “gang” bent on hurting their own people. Unfortunately there are always a few “misfits” who muck it up for everyone else.

    Sociopaths/Psychopaths come in every color and flavor. We have had great luck with the Amish and they have been very kind. I am sorry to hear of the acts of dishonor to them. It’s a sad commentary on modern times.

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