There are a lot of conspiracy theories out there about how the American society is being destroyed by socialism, radical Muslims, the movement away from old time values, terrorist plots, a failing economy, right wing anti-government wackos, gay marriage, a turn away from Christian values, and on and on.
But don’t worry about it, because it ain’t gonna happen.
Nobody has to do anything to us, because I truly believe that in another generation, or two at best, we’ll all be so dumb that we’ll just all exhale someday, forget to inhale, and fall over dead!
I’m not sure if it’s something in the water, all of the preservatives in our food, or too many first cousins breeding, but I am absolutely convinced that the average American IQ is only about two points above a gerbil. If you don’t believe me, just look around you, or listen carefully to the people in stores and restaurants. Better yet, turn on the evening news!
The other day, a TV newscast out of Orlando reported a story about a dog that went missing in Virginia eight years ago that was recently picked up as a stray in California, 3,000 miles from home. When the California animal shelter routinely scanned the dog for a microchip, they found one and tracked it back to its owner on the other side of the country. Arrangements are being made to reunite the long lost dog with its family.
Isn’t that a nice story? Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? It did for me, until the anchorwoman finished reporting the story, and then turned to one of her co-anchors and asked “Do you think the dog lived on her own all this years, or did somebody take care of her?”
No, nobody took care of her. It’s a dog eat dog world, and everybody has to fend for themselves. She had a small apartment in Burbank, worked as a waitress on the night shift at Denny’s, and sold designer flea collars at the swap meet on the weekends to supplement her income until she got her big break in show business.
A while back, we were in the Midwest, and the news out of Chicago reported on a strong windstorm that had uprooted a number of huge hundred year old oak trees. After the reporter ended the story, the anchor sitting next to him said “That’s so sad. Can they set them back up?” Her coworker did a good job of hiding his surprise, and replied “No, these are hundred year old trees, they weigh a ton. They can’t be replanted.” And then, the twit behind the microphone said “I wonder how long it will take new trees to get that big?” Hello? They are hundred year old trees!! How long do you think it will take?
But it’s not just the news media. Look at the post office, that immense bureaucracy where ignorance grows faster than germs on a Petri dish. The post office has been losing money for decades, and with the advent of e-mail, instant messaging, and carriers like UPS and Fed Ex who can do a better job for less money, fewer and fewer people are willing to stand in long lines to deal with rude clerks to get poor service. Now they are proposing to slow down mail delivery, cut back on services, and stop Saturday mail delivery.
So that’s what do you do if you are losing customers? You raise prices and cut back on services! I mean, if they won’t pay what you want for what they are getting now, let’s give them even less and charge more! Makes perfect sense to me, how about you? ‘
I’m pretty sure that if they sent that long lost dog to Washington, instead of back home to Virginia, and let her run the post office, things would be a lot better. Could she really do any worse than the folks in charge now?
Tags: American society is being destroyed, animal shelter, conspiracy theories, dumbing down of America, e-mail, failing economy, food preservatives, gay marriage, instant messaging, post office, radical Muslims, right wing anti-government wackos, socialism, terrorist plots, TV newscast