There are a lot of conspiracy theories out there about how the American society is being destroyed by socialism, radical Muslims, the movement away from old time values, terrorist plots, a failing economy, right wing anti-government wackos, gay marriage, a turn away from Christian values, and on and on.

But don’t worry about it, because it ain’t gonna happen.

Nobody has to do anything to us, because I truly believe that in another generation, or two at best, we’ll all be so dumb that we’ll just all exhale someday, forget to inhale, and fall over dead!

I’m not sure if it’s something in the water, all of the preservatives in our food, or too many first cousins breeding, but I am absolutely convinced that the average American IQ is only about two points above a gerbil. If you don’t believe me, just look around you, or listen carefully to the people in stores and restaurants. Better yet, turn on the evening news! 

The other day, a TV newscast out of Orlando reported a story about a dog that went missing in Virginia eight years ago that was recently picked up as a stray in California, 3,000 miles from home. When the California animal shelter routinely scanned the dog for a microchip, they found one and tracked it back to its owner on the other side of the country. Arrangements are being made to reunite the long lost dog with its family.

Isn’t that a nice story? Doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? It did for me, until the anchorwoman finished reporting the story, and then turned to one of her co-anchors and asked “Do you think the dog lived on her own all this years, or did somebody take care of her?”

No, nobody took care of her. It’s a dog eat dog world, and everybody has to fend for themselves. She had a small apartment in Burbank, worked as a waitress on the night shift at Denny’s, and sold designer flea collars at the swap meet on the weekends to supplement her income until she got her big break in show business.

A while back, we were in the Midwest, and the news out of Chicago reported on a strong windstorm that had uprooted a number of huge hundred year old oak trees. After the reporter ended the story, the anchor sitting next to him said “That’s so sad. Can they set them back up?” Her coworker did a good job of hiding his surprise, and replied “No, these are hundred year old trees, they weigh a ton. They can’t be replanted.” And then, the twit behind the microphone said “I wonder how long it will take new trees to get that big?” Hello? They are hundred year old trees!! How long do you think it will take? 

But it’s not just the news media. Look at the post office, that immense bureaucracy where ignorance grows faster than germs on a Petri dish. The post office has been losing money for decades, and with the advent of e-mail, instant messaging, and carriers like UPS and Fed Ex who can do a better job for less money, fewer and fewer people are willing to stand in long lines to deal with rude clerks to get poor service. Now they are proposing to slow down mail delivery, cut back on services, and stop Saturday mail delivery.

So that’s what do you do if you are losing customers? You raise prices and cut back on services! I mean, if they won’t pay what you want for what they are getting now, let’s give them even less and charge more! Makes perfect sense to me, how about you? ‘

I’m pretty sure that if they sent that long lost dog to Washington, instead of back home to Virginia, and let her run the post office, things would be a lot better. Could she really do any worse than the folks in charge now?

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32 Comments on Dumb and Dumber

  1. Jim@HiTek says:

    Sorry, Nick. I disagree. Not even going to put up a fight, I just disagree.

  2. Ricky Ward says:

    You are so right! It scares me just to sit in a restaurant and listen to the people around me. I heard a couple the other day who both agreed that if we got rid of toll booths, the fuel saved by cars stopping to pay could solve the oil crisis. And they weren’t kidding! They really beleived that was the answer to the problem.

  3. Steve Kempton says:

    What is it you disagree with Jim? Do you think folks are getting smarter? I sure do not.

    I blame a lot of it on our education system, in which teachers are no longer allowed to be educators and students and parents influence policy.

  4. Mike Mills says:

    Right on. To gauge the diminishing knowledge/intellect/education/concern/morality (pick one or more) of the populace, look no further than who they elected as president. God help us.

  5. Pat D. says:

    Oh Bad Nick, if it wasn’t so true, it would be funny. I went to the post office here in Lacey today to send a package to a friend in Oregon. I was told it would be $17.50 and would take 7 to 10 days. As it turned out, I had ran off without my wallet and had to go home to get it. My neighbor said to try the UPS store right down the street, so I stopped in. Guess what? $12,35 and it will be there Monday WITH $100 free insurance and free tracking!

  6. Francis Callahan says:

    If the post office cut the big shots pay about in half and started to charge full price or more for all the junk mail wwe recieve it might make a profit.. UPS and Fed X are always cheaper Merry Christmas everyone

  7. Bill S. says:

    You obviously slept through the Bush years. The difference in intellect between Bush and Obama is glaring. We now have a President who is actually presidential. Not some simpleton who thought it was funny to grab the Chancellor of Germany at a summit meeting.

  8. dave says:
    Wanna see how bright some have become? Check out this “you tube.”

  9. Bill B says:

    Just sent 2 identical packages of legal docs from MI to TX. One left the USPS on Monday at 11:20 AM via Priority mail for $11.xx. They got it Friday am.

    Second package, same amount of paper, different signatures / notary etc. at 7:30 pm Monday (same day, 8 hours later) from a Fedex store. $7.50 and they had it at 9:30 am Tuesday (Tx time so an extra hour)

    Yeah, I would guess there is a problem there.

    Via tracking, Fedex showed every step of the way and had it had 4 routing stops. USPS tracking showed that it was picked up, went to Lansing, MI no change for 3 days, arrived in McAllen, TX Thursday night and was delivered on Friday.

    Don’t feel alone Pat.

  10. Doug says:

    My guess is that the USPS is issuing a trial balloon about slowing down the service in order to apply consumer pressure. They want us to push the Senate to approve additional funding to bail them out. If they actually do slow down service it will be the death of them. I agree that it is not the way to save your business. That has been proven by numerous companies. You cannot reduce service and charge more and make more money. It won’t happen. Having said that, I would not object to cutting Saturday service.

  11. Larry Clark says:

    I wonder how much money FEDEX or UPS could make if they were required to provide service for bulk mail and such. They took the cream of the profit making services from the USPS and left them with the non-profit making part. Maybe one of them would like to step forward and take over this service. I think not.

    The USPS should increase the postage rates for the mass mailing and junk mail that is out there.

    How long does it take to grow a 100 year old tree? LOL That was too funny for words, but didn’t surprise me.

  12. Paul says:

    Oh man, there is nothing I love more than a good rant about stupidity. It really gets me excited. When I need a fresh dose, I simply search youtube for a George Carlin or Adam Carolla bit and I’m seldom disappointed.

    I blame the dumbing down of society, at least partially, on the do-gooders whose life purpose is to protect people from themselves. These are the people who made it a requirement to put warning labels on hair dryers. That action alone served to skew the laws of natural selection, by saving countless imbeciles from electrocuting themselves in the shower.

    By interfering with the laws of natural selection and helping morons survive longer, it gives them (the morons) the opportunity to breed and create even dumber offspring. These additional idiots are driving societies collective IQ through the floor.

  13. Claire Rossbach says:

    What Mike says. And to the Post Office: Stop the junk mail, Saturday service and complaining! In fact, lets forget USPS. Use FedEx, UPS, Fax, email and texting. Can FedEx or UPS pick up the first class mail???

  14. Nevada Dave says:

    Thank You Bad Nick>> You hit the nail on the head AGAIN! On the Tube you are watching “Graduate Communications Students” I kindly refer to them as the “Child Left Behind” !! LOL
    Also on the tube I viewed a documentry on the English postal system. And how efficient it operates. Maybe we should take a play or two out of their book …
    Just look what “Politicaly Correct” Achieved in our government. COMMON SENSE is Dead !!!!

  15. Wendt says:

    As a retired RN I always think that these are the people that will be taking care of us in our old age, and if you are not scared you are not paying attention!

  16. ken says:

    I mailed a letter from ponchatoula,la.On monday and it had to be
    routed to new orleans sorting station.The letter finally made it’s way back to ponchatoula the following Wed. That’s 10 days !
    I asked the people at the post office how I could keep that from
    happening again? they said just wait in line and tell the person
    you give it to that it is a local address.seams like they would
    do this automaticlly.But no, they told me that tons of mail is sent to that sorting pool,as that is what they are told to do!!!

  17. Paul Stough says:

    I hope that all of you who bash the USPS now realize that it is trying to destroy itself. No one could run a business this poorly by accident.


  18. Kay Arnold says:

    Did you know that the USPS delivers packages for UPS and FEDEX all the time ? That with budgetary BS that congress has put on the USPS they start out in the hole by millions every year. Why is that could it be that someone wants the PO to fail so their companies can make more money? Would UPS and FEDEX keep delivering to areas that lost money for them ? NO ! If the USPS goes under the gravy train is over and we’ll find out just how wonderful private companies service their customers. I wouldn’t be surprised that there were some unhappy people with the new non-service.

  19. Kay Arnold says:

    As for stupid people well I have to wonder myself as to what has happened to the intellect in our country just ask some simple questions like how many senators are there for each state? How are the seat for the house of represenetives chosen? What are the three branches of government? Or how about a simple one who was the first president of the U.S. ? I could go on and on but it only gets depressing so I won’t.

  20. Andy Baird says:

    There’s an old joke about the Post Office that goes something like this:

    “Who says postage is too expensive? Why, when I was a kid, a first-class letter cost 4 cents and was delivered in four days. Now it costs thirty cents and is delivered in a month. That’s still only a penny a day!”

  21. Allan says:

    The USPS is self destructing. Its outgo exceeds its income, so its upkeep will be its downfall. Technology is passing it up. Congress does not need to bail out another failed business. Private companies will do a more efficient job but things will definatly change from how they now operate.

  22. Robert says:

    A large part of the cause of the stupification of America is the preponderance of unchecked propaganda and a corporate media campaign that is intentionally misleading us average well intentioned citizens to forming false opinions and consequently voting against our own best interest. The USPS story is right in the heart of this. These days we need to dig deeper into things we hear instead of just listening to Frank Luntz style talking points and blindly accepting the often down right lies presented in today’s unrestricted biased corporate media and on the internet.
    Kay Arnold (above) touched on the truth about what’s happening to the USPS, but there’s a lot more to the story.
    I know a lot of us have fallen victim to the anti slander by the likes of Rush and Fox, and I would not normally post a link from there for that reason, but a good synopsis of what I’ve learned to be true about this USPS story I found in this article.
    Read it if you dare, and don’t stop there; fact check the ideas presented on your own and come to your own conclusions. Knowledge is power, and the truth is attainable if we keep an open mind and do a little homework.

  23. Roger Moreland says:

    Yes Robert, that has to be the most “truthful” “unbiased” and “factual” thing I’ve read since Hitler’s Mein Kampf. Have you ever actually BEEN in a post office as a customer? Have you ever had to deal with their rude and/or stupid employees, or worse yet, had to try to resolve a problem? (Although, based upon the tone of your post, I strongly suspect you are/were a postal employee.)

    I have a brother who works for the post office who has milked the system forever, going out on prolonged sick leave at least once a year for as long as I can remember. But being “sick” doesn’t keep him from going fishing or shootgn trap every week. And the postal union has protected him when the postmaster has tried to get rid of him.

  24. Robert says:

    Roger, I love to research and learn so am open to your challenge. Yes, the article has a bias, every writer has some, but please specify what ‘facts’ in the article are incorrect or untrue, and I’ll study on them? I’m sure you realize your quick reference to Hitler is right out of the right wing propagandists’ text book, but I’ll overlook that ridiculous inference for now.
    For the record: no, I’ve never been an employee of the USPS; and yes, I’ve been in a post office many times as a customer, and have dealt with postal employees in the office and in the field.

  25. Pam says:

    Excellent article, Robert. Thank you for posting it.

  26. David says:

    USPS has an unfunded (underfunded) mandate to deliver to every podunk address in the country for 44 cents. Not fair to compare to for profit companies who deliver faster for 19 dollars.

  27. Rob Fox says:

    I laughed so hard that I began to cry. But then I realised why I was crying.

    If a well read, clever, intelligent and articulate guy such as Bad Nick is unaware of the assault on the postal service and similar systemic injustice, what hope is there for the people.

    Thank you for posting that link Robert.

    I often hear people say that they are not interested in politics or politicians. That is what politicians love. The last thing they want is an engaged and watchful electorate.

    It happens with every power structure. The union is not exempt in this respect.

    We are witnessing the beginnings of a new dark age. The era of the free man is ending.

  28. Gary Bergt says:

    Thought you might like this. There are hundreds of stories out about people suing the US Park or Forest Services for the tourist’s own stupidity. Since my wife & I work seasonally for the park service, we hear a lot of these stories.

    Pity the poor camper who hears a call of nature during the night but doesn’t look where he is peeing. Jerry Mersereau, 23, fell 20 to 30 feet off a cliff in Mount Hood National Forest while searching for “a place to relieve himself,” reports The Week magazine. Now, he is suing the U.S. government for failing to anticipate that the cliff was dangerous; he’s also asking for compensation for his “mental anguish.”

    One last thought. The best argument for the existance of intellegent life somewhere in the universe is that they have never tried to contact us.

  29. Bob says:

    If you don’t believe in the theory of evolution, go visit a Wal Mart. There you will see mankind’s various stages along the evolutionary trail.

  30. Dave Mingus says:

    Went to pick up a package for general delivery from the USPS and the clerk said you must get a post office box, we don’t make any money this way!! No more general delivery for you. My problem with this statement is, the original mail was paid for by the person sending it to my mail forwarding address, I then paid for it to be shipped from mail forwarding to general delivery in Gulf Shores AL. My question is, what does she meaan they don’t make money. It was paid to the USPS at there rate for sending mail. I could go on and on about the US mail, but it falls on deaf ears and has been for eternity. Won’t be long now and the other carriers will have them totally out of business and then we will have a ton more unemployed!!! But they got rid of the problem.


  31. Bonnie says:

    I owned a shipping store for five years in Florida. We offered USPS services and charged a bit more for the convenience but our customers were willing to pay to get good customer service and to avoid standing in line at the PO and dealing with the rude postal clerks.

    The USPS makes some mistakes, including giving away their boxes. A not-insignificant amount of our profit was from selling boxes. They could sell customers boxes and start making money instead of losing. And yes, in remote areas, Fedex and UPS pay the USPS to deliver their packages.

    Finally, USPS employees told us that their strategy was to ship their own Christmas packages using express mail service and then apply for a full refund when the packages didn’t arrive on time, which they never did. At Christmas, UPS and Fedex suspend their on time guarantees to avoid this problem. Someone at USPS should be in charge of watching what the for-profit shipping industry does to make the business profitable and adopt those policies.

  32. Mike McMillan says:

    I’m late getting in, but this to good to miss.
    A friend was the Post Master in a small Arkansas town with 3 yrs to go for retirement from the USPS. They gave him a early retirement bonus of $350,000.00 plus full pay for the remaining 3 yrs. They needed the spot for a younger Post Master..Who wouldn’t take that deal?

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