At the risk of offending some of my readers, I have to admit that I like boobs.

Yes, I like them all. Big boobs, small boobs, tiny boobs, firm boobs, not so firm boobs. No boob is a bad boob, in my opinion. I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but more of a sincere appreciation for the finer things in life.

I think I first became aware of boobs when that pretty blonde girl that sat beside me in the fifth grade sprouted them over the summer and came back to school a completely different person. And it made me a different person too. Forget football and baseball, I’d rather sit on the sidelines and watch those cheerleaders do their thing!

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t appreciate a woman for her intellect, her talent, and her personality, because I most certainly do. But I’m not going to lie to you, I appreciate their boobs too.

I’m not a complete letch, and I try not to stare, but there have been a couple of times when just looking at boobs has gotten me into trouble. Not from my wife, she doesn’t mind me admiring other women’s boobs at a distance. She knows I’m like an old dog we used to have; he loved to chase cars, but if he would have ever caught one, he couldn’t drive it.

Once we were in line at a WalMart somewhere and I turned around and came eye to boob with the lady standing behind me. (Sometimes being short has its advantages!) She was a tall woman, wearing very short cut off jean shorts and a very low cut top and some sort of bra that pushed her assets up and out in a manner that no male between the ages of 12 and 120 could not help but notice. Everything from the top edge of her nipples upward was right there staring me in the face. And I stared right back!

This apparently offended her, because she asked “What are you looking at?” in a very surly voice. Well, I wasn’t going to lie to the lady, so I told her “Your boobs.” I figure if somebody dresses like that, they want people to look at them. Or, at the very least, they shouldn’t be surprised when someone does. Yes, we’ve come a long way baby, but nature is nature, and that’s just human nature. Or at least, it’s this human’s nature.

So I don’t understand it when a woman gets offended if she dresses in a skimpy outfit and some guy notices. I’m sorry, it’s gonna happen.

Which brings us to the Royal boobs. What’s with all of the hullabaloo about Princess Kate’s topless photos? If you are a woman running around topless, you have to accept the fact that somebody may see you, no matter where you are. And if you are in the public eye, especially in a role like hers, you are brain dead if you think there is anywhere on earth where you can go and somebody is not looking! It comes with the tiara. It may not be fair, but life isn’t fair. Even for a princess.

So come on Kate, either stop your whining and cover up, or accept the fact that the paparazzi, and dirty old men like me, are out here and we’re going to look.

As for that other Royal boob, Prince Harry, showing it all for the camera on a wild Las Vegas weekend, I’m sorry, but that’s just wrong!

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18 Comments on I Like Boobs

  1. Greg White says:

    I just picture Charlie Harper on stage singing “I Love Boobies” in front of a bunch of kids.

    Guys of every age love boobies, but sometimes for different reasons.

  2. Mike Loehr says:

    Only Bad Nick could make my very uptight, very prim and proper Catholic mother-in-law roar with laughter over a blog about liking boobs. Well done my friend!

  3. linda says:

    LOL Men are Men…BUT I can’t agree with you about Princess Kate! She was in a private home and with her husband. LEAVE her alone.

  4. Rob Fox says:

    So good to have Bad Nick back. The voice of reason …… he say’s the thing we wish we could, without having had a few beers first! This post cracked me up. I was cheering all the way.

    However, as a loyal and devoted servant to Her Majesty, or Betsy as I know her, I must just give some context.

    Firstly, you have to understand that 90% of young women in Europe have absolutely no concern about people seeing their finest assets. Go to any beach in Spain, France or Italy and will think that you have died and gone to heaven. Topless is the norm. There is simple no shame in the human body. In fact Europeans find it quite strange that old puritanical values still exist in the “Land of the Free”.

    What is at issue here is a simple expectation of privacy. Whether you are a princess or a pauper there must be times when everyone should reasonably expect to have a private moment. I the recent case, the couple (that’s the prince and the princess …… not her couple ….. I’m getting in trouble here)

    In this case, the young couple (you know what I mean, Nick) were in the back yard of a private villa over half a mile from any roadway. Just imagine, you are young and in love …… I’m surprised the snaps weren’t X rated. The point is that the guy with the long lens (oh please!) was intruding on an obviously private moment. It’s a matter of simple human civility and respect.

    I’m looking forward to my my knighthood in the post :-)

  5. Connie Bradish says:

    I think you’re right about royalty and the paparazzi. Unfortunately for English royalty people want to know everything about them which leads to the overzealous paparazzi. Even though Kate was in a private area she was outside and unfortunately fair game. Hopefully this teaches her to keep her and William’s clothes on any place they could remotely be photographed.

    Harry is a different kettle of fish. He thrives on notoriety. Frankly I think he’s a spoiled little rich kid. And if he gets any of the lovely venereal diseases that are all too present these days, he deserves what he gets. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s scoring with a certain type of female (who will have sex with practically anything) because he’s Harry, THE PRINCE. He needs to grow up and become a man rather than a playboy.

  6. There’s something to be said for both sides (now I’m doing it!) of the issue. Topless is fine — as a matter of fact, I’m sitting at my computer right now without any shirt on. But then, I’m not a prince or a princess. Welcome back, Bad Nick, tell it like it needs to be told!

  7. Jim Walter says:

    OK, I gotta know… is it Jerry or Suzy “sitting at my computer right now without any shirt on”?

  8. Jim says:

    We have missed you bad Nick. Welcome back

  9. Jeff says:

    Suggestion for the title of your next book “Big Lake Boobs.”

  10. Patti Bergman says:

    THANK YOU Bad Nick! This needed to be said. I have a sister-in-law who dresses in very provocative clothing like skimpy halter tops and blouses where her boobs are falling out and shorts cut so high her pubes show at times. My parents and others have suggested that she cover up some of that skin and she says that’s just her style and she should have the right to dress any way she want. And then she is always bitching about dirty minded men staring at her, even my father and brother. I keep telling her to stop dressing like a slut and maybe they won’t look.

  11. Dave K says:

    Welcome back Bad Nick You have been sorely Missed with your correct evaluation of the Human race.
    I believe the correct statement is: “Doing what comes Naturally”
    Walmart is a prime show place of all the beat views. Your DOM.

  12. Dick Schell says:

    We stare because we care!

  13. Croft says:

    It’s that goose – gander thing Nick.

  14. Paul Stough says:

    I saw this on Facebook today. I hope the link works:;theater


  15. Ernie says:

    Nick you got to watch out for some boobs, they may put your eye out

  16. Bill Daines says:

    Early in my career, we had to make bar checks at a country bar called The Black Ram. We were to do the walk thru prior to the 230 a m closing. It was a rough establishment, bikers and topless female employees!
    At that time I was newly married and my wife sure got mad at me for going into that bar. It was all right for her to receive the flirting type of behavior, attention from the guys (Attorneys and Officers) coming to Court, she enjoyed the attention, she was the Bailiff/Clerk. I was told not to go to this establishment because she didnt like me looking at the toplessness. I told her I was only looking for the problems which made this a very rough bar. Well she didnt believe me!

    Nice one Nick.

  17. T & R Martin says:

    by BIG, BAD NICK

  18. Connie Bradish says:

    Paul Stough, yes the link worked. Interesting article. My hubby must be gonna live to be 1093 years old. (Laughter here) He’s allowed to look and loves to. Guess it keeps him young!!!!!! And frisky too!!!!!!

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