I’ve been married three times, which is not something I’m proud of, but it took me a while to find a woman with the qualities I could truly love and admire who also had standards low enough to have anything to do with me. But it was worth it all to get to where I am today in my life.
The only good things that came out of those first two failed relationships were two kids and a lot of makeup sex.
Anybody who has ever been married or in a long term relationship knows about makeup sex. You have this big fight about something, you say a lot of ugly things to each other that you really don’t mean, you give each other the silent treatment for a while, and then one or the other of you gives in and makes the first overture, and the next thing you know, you’re having makeup sex. For some reason, makeup sex always seems more intense. Sometimes it’s almost worth the fight just to have the makeup sex.
Now, I’m not telling you this because I have a dirty mind (okay, I do have a dirty mind, but stay with me here), but because the way things are going in America right now, I’m thinking that after next Tuesday the entire country should stop fighting about politics and have makeup sex. That’s right, just stop all of the fighting and hating and forget all those nasty things we said to each other and start loving each other again. We need it.
Besides, it doesn’t matter who wins the election, as long as we still have the same clowns in Congress, we’re all going to continue to get screwed.