I’ve been married three times, which is not something I’m proud of, but it took me a while to find a woman with the qualities I could truly love and admire who also had standards low enough to have anything to do with me. But it was worth it all to get to where I am today in my life.

The only good things that came out of those first two failed relationships were two kids and a lot of makeup sex.

Anybody who has ever been married or in a long term relationship knows about makeup sex. You have this big fight about something, you say a lot of ugly things to each other that you really don’t mean, you give each other the silent treatment for a while, and then one or the other of you gives in and makes the first overture, and the next thing you know, you’re having makeup sex. For some reason, makeup sex always seems more intense. Sometimes it’s almost worth the fight just to have the makeup sex.

Now, I’m not telling you this because I have a dirty mind (okay, I do have a dirty mind, but stay with me here), but because the way things are going in America right now, I’m thinking that after next Tuesday the entire country should stop fighting about politics and have makeup sex. That’s right, just stop all of the fighting and hating and forget all those nasty things we said to each other and start loving each other again. We need it.

Besides, it doesn’t matter who wins the election, as long as we still have the same clowns in Congress, we’re all going to continue to get screwed.

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31 Comments on Makeup Sex

  1. joe says:

    We celebrated our 20th anniversary last week and we have never had make up sex. In order to have make up sex we would have had to fought, and we never have, and that is all my beautiful wife’s fault.

  2. Melissa says:

    Ha! I would have sworn Larry wrote the above comment, not Joe! Only 19 years for us, but the rest is true.

    Fun blog, Nick!

  3. Les D. says:

    You had me going with that title Nick! :)
    Funny blog

  4. Kerry Wilson says:

    This whole thing has gotten way out of hand. My dad has not talked to me in over three months because I support Barack Obama and Dad is a lifelong Republican. I try not to get into conversations about politics with him but he won’t talk about anything else. Since I refuse to debate the same thing with him over and over I am getting the silent treatment.

  5. CoolJudy says:

    Kerry, since it is your father, maybe you should just shake hands to make-up.

  6. Kayjulia says:

    Wishful thinking this division in the USA runs deep and I don’t see there being any kiss and make up sessions coming. The stresses of the past few years have been difficult for a lot of people and many folks want simple answers to very complicated problems I think they are going to be disappointed. The divisions in beliefs are profound and serious no matter who wins they are not going away.

  7. Fred Hammer says:

    It is sad when people need machines to make change for a purchase, or when an analogy is taken literally as illustrated in some of the above comments, but that helps to prove my point. Years ago, immigrants were basically industrious and sought a better life through their own hard work and initiative. Today, vast numbers of immigrants seek only the socialistic handouts from our government which in most cases give them a better standard of living than they had in their parent country. Add to them, the half of the population that is of lower than average intelligence and you have a solid voting block which spells the descent of America. I, for one, cannot “kiss and make up” with people who are destroying what our forefathers created.

  8. Connie Bradish says:

    No “makeup sex.” No matter who wins we will continue to work for capitalism and democracy rather than socialism. You have only to look at Europe specifically and other socialist/communist countries around the world to see that regular people lose every time when you have too many entitlement programs and too much big government. No “kiss and make up” either. If we don’t change our direction soon, we will be so above our heads in debt we can never get out of, rampant inflation, high taxes, lower standard of living for both the rich, middle class and “poor.” And of course they will have to blame someone else for their failure: Jews, conservatives, critics of them, anyone not on their side. Sounds a little like Nazi Germany which stands for national socialism, or USSR (union of soviet socialist republics) or etc. Get the picture? History repeating itself over and over because humans never seem to learn.

  9. Doug H says:

    Now I was thinking that makeup sex was having more sex to make up for all the years when we were working hard everyday and were too tired at night to have sex!! I vote for that kind of makeup sex and my wife agree’s, now if only I could find out where I left my wife, lets see was it the gas station or the grocery store?

  10. Jim Swan says:

    My brother and I had a disagreement about politics a year ago and he wouldn’t talk to me after that, so I apologize and everything was ok,I am sure glad I did as he past away this spring at 87 years old.

  11. Dave K says:

    “Sandy” has caused alot of makeup sex also. But first the east coast must find a Dry-Warm spot to hold it….

  12. Guay Ralph says:

    For some unknown reason, I thought this would actually be about sex. I’m fed up with politics. I’ve heard enough to las the rest of my life. But sex, now only in my active mind, is a real gift. Thanks Nick for at least TRYING to make a point…

  13. Rob Fox says:

    Bad Nick: If you ever give up your full time holiday you could make it as a journalist!
    Cool Judy: Very funny.
    Fred: Do you not see the irony in your comment?
    Connie: This made me cry. Delusion of the highest order.

    Your government (and it is yours)is dysfunctional. That suits the powerful and greedy just fine. What I can’t understand is why ordinary Americans put up with this exploitation.

  14. John says:

    Fought alot when we first started married life, lasted for about
    5 years, Took me a while to figure out that I could afford to have a nice boat if I agreed with her more often.. But I really do love our 5 sons and daughter,

  15. Dale says:

    Some of the replies show the reason why bi-partisanship will be near impossible. They are only able to see one way to solving a problem, when there can be several different paths to take, all of which will take you to the proper place.
    While our economy is slowly forging ahead, in Europe, where they went right into austerity programs, like those advocated by current Republicans, their problems are just not being solved and their economy is still is far worse shape than ours.
    Remember, when an economy is too strongly based on military might, without any regard to care and compassion of others, it will fall just like the Soviet Union did.
    We must all learn to understand what the other side posits, even if we don’t agree with all or any of their points. That is the only way to once again work with each other the way the parties did in the mid-twentieth century.

  16. Barb Scrafield says:

    Nick, I will be happy to kiss and make up IF on Tuesday the election returns go as I hope and pray they will. :)

    However, if it goes the other direction, I may be a little grouchy for the next four years since according to Obama Care, we will lose our Medicare Advantage. :(

  17. Allan says:

    I agree with Connie. Hopefully there will be a needed change in the White House. This is the only hope for a bipartism agreements in Congress. I have no hate for people that disagree with me politically. I will not agree to changing our government system. The Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the separation of powers and the free enterprise system has made our country great. More and more government control errodes our liberties and higher deficits will cause unsustainable debt.

  18. Paul Stough says:

    There will be no “make up” sex after the election because the two competing ideas on the direction of our country will not change, and the only way to end gridlock between the White House and Congress is for one party to control both, and the Supreme Court as well.

    It is interesting that both parties support the underlying cause of the rift, but they just have two different views how to deal with this problem.

    The underlying issue is the 12-20 million illegal aliens in this country whose shear numbers have created such an over supply of unskilled and low skilled workers that wages have been driven down to the point that now 47% of Federal Income tax filers dont MAKE enough money to OWE any Federal Income tax, and by the way, let me reiterate that BOTH parties support this virtually unlimited immigration!

    The Democrats answer to this problem is to try and use social welfare programs to add something to the low wages, much like you will see in European democracies.

    The Republicans answer to this problem is to reduce spending on social welfare programs which would then make the USA look like the Old South where plantation owners got filthy rich on the backs of the cheap labor of their slaves.

  19. Pam says:

    It’s looking more and more like President Obama will be re-elected and I am quite happy about that. The media loves the whole “divided America” meme and have repeatedly ignored the fact that Romney has almost no path to an electoral college victory. To report the truth of that would ruin their “horse race” narrative. I fear this will only create more anger in the already angry Obama-haters because they will feel something nefarious took place when it is really just simple math.

    I hope that whatever the outcome, everyone will truly support the President. I don’t see how anyone can claim to love this country and yet hope the President fails. I just wish the moderates of both parties would become more vocal and take back this country from the extremists.

  20. Paul Stough says:

    Pam-The problem with your wish is that there are few moderates left in either party, as they have been driven out by the more vocal extremists. That is why about one third of the registered voters in the USA are registered as “No Party”, and the sad thing about that statistic is that unless you are registered as a party member you have no say in who the parties chose to run for offices, or their platforms.

  21. T & R Martin says:

    Hopefully no one on this blog is 65 or over as of 1 October 2012. Yep ObamaCare kicked in last month w/regard to hospital Medicare patients. Hospitals accepting a Medicare patient to the hospital TWICE within a 30-day period will be penalized. I think Barb is aware of this, but some folks do not pay attention to the news, especially if that news station does not support their candidate. I liked it better when our health care providers made those decisions. Naw, I’m not for Socialism, but it does sound like a friendly word, just as adding “Care” to a word sounds nice & Cozy. ***********
    BTW Nick, I thought “Makeup” Sex was having sex while applying one’s makeup??!!!

  22. Allan says:

    If you don’t like negative talk in a presidential election race then we can not talk about the economy the last 4 years. Obama has not lived up to what he promised and things are worse than when he took office. If you want to talk about something positive then we need to look at Romney who will actually insist on having the country run on a budget and make every effort to balance the budget. He will also start producing real jobs in the private sector not government jobs. Real energy will increase in the USA and the economy will get better.
    Makeup/ when the economy actually does start improving I hope the Democrats will see the improvement and will throw in with him to better the nation.
    I will never back any president regardless of party that disregards a budget, that is just poor planning.

  23. Paul Stough says:

    Allan-When you post fairy tales like this you should always start then with “Once Upon a Time…”

    I agree that Obama has not lived up to his promises, but it was mostly because as soon as the election was over the Republicans vowed that there mission was not to do what is best for the country, but to make sure Obama was a one term President. Hard to get much done with that level of personal hatred of the President.

    I dont know how you can say things are worse than they were four years ago with a straight face.

    Four years ago the country was losing 800,000 jobs a month! Now we have had 30 months of private sector job growth.. How is that worse?

    Four years ago the Dow Jones was at about 8,000, now it is over 13,000. How is that worse?

    Four years ago we still had combat troops in Iraq with GW fighting a personal vendetta war for his father. That has ended. How is that worse?

    Four years ago we were foundering in Afghanistan because GW only cared about Iraq, an didnt think getting bin Laden was important. Bin Laden is now dead, and the US in on a path to get out of Afghanistan. How is that worse?

    How is Romney going “to produce real jobs in the private sector”?

    How is Romney going to balance the budget?

    When did balancing the budget become important to Republicans? GW inherited as close to a balanced budget that we have seen in this country since Jimmy Carter was President, and by the end of GW’s term he had added some 11 billion to the deficit, during a mostly good economy, and mow the Republicans complain that during the worst economic times we have seen since the Great Depression that the President spends in deficit?

    No one who voted for GW has any right to complain about the job Obama is doing!

  24. Allan says:

    Paul might think that George W. was the country’s worst president, I happen to think it is Obama. As you can see there are two fundamentally different political beliefs in this country so is makeup possible? maybe but doubtful. I do hope Romney is elected, not Obama and not George W. I would like to see the country headed in the right direction and I believe that with good l eadership it is possible. I believe in keeping the Constitution intact along with the Bill of Rights, the Separation of Powers, and our country’s sovereignty. Go USA

  25. Paul Stough says:

    Allan-What policies of Romney’s will be different that GW’s and how do you believe they will be different? I have not been able to discern any differences.

  26. Barb Scrafield says:

    I don’t live in la la land..I all live in the real world.. A simple question should be asked. Are you and the rest of the country better off now than when Obama took office in 08? Not very many folks can honestly say yes.
    Paul, as far as the Republicans vowing that Obama would be a one term president. Bologna
    Obama has both house his first two years and instead of working to brace up the economy, he had an agenda. Obama Care..Our country was already in deep dept and he passed his Obama Care (behind closed doors?)
    I thought he was going to have a transparent presidency? The democrats did not even know what was in that bill..Remember Pelosi saying they had to pass it to see what is in it?
    That is the way his entire presidency has been run.. It his way or the high way.. No balanced budget in four years, no cabinet meetings. Why? Why not a single press meeting about Benghazi?
    Why did he appoint the CEO of G.E. the Head of his new Jobs Council and then never hold a single meeting?
    Obama has no record to run on.. I cannot understand how anyone could vote him back into office?

    Barb

  27. Barb Scrafield says:

    Everyone has an opinion, mine if that eventually they will run out of other peoples money.. :)

  28. Rob Fox says:

    Nick,

    Please can you wire me $250. I took your advice and went into town to find some makeup sex. …….. I got arrested and needs some money to make bail.

  29. Nick Russell says:

    Ron, I don’t know if you had makeup sex, but it sounds like you’re screwed. :)

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