In Arizona a young woman named Jodi Arias is on trial for the brutal murder of her boyfriend. In Texas a violent parolee killed in a shootout with police has been linked to the murder of the chief of the Colorado prison system. North Korea and Iran are building up their nuclear weapon capabilities. And in dusty hellhole villages and the back rooms of shops in Third Word countries around the globe, terrorists are building bombs and plotting havoc.

And here at home, people are upset because a gay couple wants to have the right to be legally married. They say it will be the end of life as we know it. It will threaten the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. It’s a sin.

Bullshit. Love is love, and I’d rather focus on the fact that among all of the hatred and doom and gloom of today’s world, two people are willing to say “I love you, I am committed to you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” And I don’t care what those two people have or don’t have between their legs. It’s about what’s in their hearts.

How will life as we know it end? Will the stars fall out of the sky? Will the seas suddenly go dry, or the sky turn green, or the earth stop turning on its axis? How does the marriage of a gay couple threaten the marriage my wife and I have? Will one of us suddenly say, “Hey, those two are married. I’m leaving you!”?

We live in a world where throwaway marriages are as common as disposable diapers, and we treat Hollywood types who jump from marriage to marriage and bed to bed faster than a louse in a flophouse as some sort of royalty. Yet we say two people who love each other is a sin. I know some very devout Christians. But I also know a lot of Bible thumpers who spend more time hating than praying. I was taught in Sunday School that God can take any form. I wonder what would happen if they get to the Pearly Gates and discover that God is a black Jewish lesbian?

Love is love. It doesn’t matter what a couples’ gender is, and it’s none of my business or yours, or of government’s who somebody choses to love and spend their lives with. Our nation’s Declaration of Independence begins by stating that all men are created equal. If we believe that, it is our responsibility to allow all people the same right to marry who they choose.

Love is love. End of story.

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87 Comments on Love Is Love

  1. Shannon says:

    Amen Nick! Well spoken. I agree 100% with you.

  2. Carl says:

    Jan a lot of our laws affect someones civil rights. Do drug dealers have a civil right? Since alcohol is a legal drug. What if they fro united and went to court. What about prostitutes it is legal some places but not others. What if they united.Is society better or worst for outlawing the pledge and prayer in school, abortion where about 3000 babies are killed every day,I could go on and on but you get the picture

  3. Norah says:

    Well said Nick. And, I was encouraged to see that your readers overwhelmingly support this rational approach to the marriage for all debate.

  4. Carl, the gov’t has no say so in anything you mention. Each and every point is something each person has to decide for him/herself. Every. single. thing. you. think. should. be. legislated.
    Of course, abortion should be between a woman and her MD, never by any man or by any government.

    A woman is a prostitute if she sells sex for money. Can’t be a prostitute without a paying man.

    The Pledge of Allegiance change? I remember when that happened. It was and is wrong and has nothing to do with who or what the Pledge is about: Loyalty to your country. And I could go on and on if you would like, but you get the picture.

  5. Carl says:

    Nick you ask for us to pray for your father in law,but it isn’t clear who we should pray to. Is it the god that wrote the book of fables and and issued the ten suggestions or the God that wrote the bible and issued the ten commandments? Don’t take this wrong just something to think about.

  6. Barb says:

    Great, great comments, Nick. Thank you for being brave in this public forum. Love is love, and how sad that so many twist “their” rules of love and marriage. Even though we may not think alike, we can all love alike. It takes way too much energy to be so hateful. Look at the time wasted judging others when their decisions or lifestyle do not affect your life.

  7. Carl, does it really matter?
    BTW, men wrote the Bible and wrote and rewrote it hundreds of times.

  8. Marnin says:

    Carl if I’m not mistaken laws are in place to protect society. Not all laws are the same in different parts of our country and in different parts of the world. Laws are also not static but change as societies views change. For example marijuana was just made legal in Colorado. What may be illegal in our country is not in others. For example prostitution is legal in the Netherlands and other parts of the world.
    In our country where we have a mix of cultures, values and religions, laws are in place to protect all of us. Protect us against the views of one group over others. Spoken prayers have been outlawed in public schools but not prayer. Silent meditation is offered which allows all religious groups to pray in their own way and are not forced to follow one specific religious group.
    Alcohol was made illegal in the twenties and had to be repealed after the violence and crime that was caused.
    Laws are important, but in reference to the issue at hand, we have a large group of Americans who are looking for the right to be recognized as a married couple and they need to have a law that will allow them to do that without the discrimination they are now faced by some members of our society.

  9. Marnin says:

    Carl we will pray to whom ever we believe in, could be Allah, Zeus, Odin, God, Jesus, or if we don’t believe in a deity, we can still extend our hopes and wishes for a speedy and healthy recovery to Nick’s father in law.

  10. GEne says:

    Nick, YOU ‘DA MAN!!!!!

  11. Pam says:

    Carl, I can’t speak for Nick but I believe he is asking us to pray to the God who sent his son Jesus to die for our sins. You remember Jesus, don’t you? He’s the guy that spoke endlessly about the poor and social justice and hardly ever mentioned homosexuality or abortion or the other things the fake christians like to harp on. He said the most important message was “love your neighbor as yourself.” He said “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Bad Nick’s message yesterday was more in line with the teachings of Jesus than all the hatred and bigotry being spouted by the fake Christians and hypocritical bible thumpers.

    BTW, Nick, great post!

  12. Pam says:

    Oh, and to answer your other question, of course drug dealers and prostitutes have civil rights. They don’t have the right to break the law but they have the right to equal protection under the law. Those rights are extended to them EVERY DAY in America. And, in the end, that is all our gay brothers and sisters want: equal protection under the law. They DO NOT have that now when it comes to the legal protections afforded by marriage.

  13. Thank you Pam. You state the answer to our problem wisely and succinctly. I have forgotten the exact number of benefits we do not enjoy, but it’s over 1000. To get some equal protection under the law, we have formed a corporation, have powers of attorney of all kinds, wills, but we still cannot file income tax as a couple, nor are we afforded all of the other federal benefits that all of you take for granted.
    Remember when interracial marriage was illegal? I would have thought that we would not forget that so soon.

  14. Marnin says:

    Well said Pam and Jan. Just to add to illegal marriage. One hundred years ago deaf people in America were not allowed to marry either.

  15. Marnin says:

    oops forgot to say each other.

  16. And even to this day, folks with developmental delays or genetic differences are rarely allowed to marry. It’s as if no one really regards the disabled as persons
    Ya know, I didn’t know that about deaf people. Thanks for letting more light in.

  17. Bill Daines says:

    Good one Nick,
    It doesn’t bother me a bit!
    Cause there’s too much else for me to worry about.

    1. The sky might fall
    2. We may not have spring
    3. A sink hole may open up and I’m unable to climb out
    4. Lastly I may die and not know it

    Actually, the only thing that really got to me was loosing my Dobie Jazz to cancer 4 wks ago.
    I’m happy again because I’ve adopted another Dobie.
    Bill :)

  18. Jodie S. says:

    Kudos to Marnin for shedding much so much light.

    You may recall that a few weeks ago the Boy Scouts attitudes toward gays and lesbians were in the news. The amount of ignorance and hatred, name calling, etc.,that appeared in the comments section of the relevant article in the Wall Street Journal was appalling.

    People believe that homosexuality is a choice, that they are predators, and that they are criminals. Some folks are apparently unaware that they and their children unknowingly associate with gays and lesbians every day without being harmed in any way.

    Without addressing the issue at hand, whether gay and lesbian children should be allowed in the Scouts, I tried to address some of the ignorance in the comments, even citing some research. Ignorance can be cured with education, but there is no hope for hatred! I wish I had Marnin helping me when I was writing my comments.

    Nick, you have a much better class of commenters than the Wall Street Journal.

  19. Marnin says:

    Thank you Jodi. I really appreciate the compliments. Unfortunately no matter what we say those who just blindly believe cannot be swayed by words. Sometimes when they are faced with it close to home their beliefs and feelings change ie Rob Portman the Senator from Ohio whose son came out as gay. This does not change others who continue to feel they way they do. There is an article by Linda Harvey who berates the Senator.(very sad). You can read her response by clicking the link.

  20. Nick Russell says:

    Carl, when I ask for prayers for my father-in-law, it to whatever deity you choose to pray too. If there is only one God, isn’t it all the same no matter what you call it? God, Jehova, Budda, Allah? As my old commanding officer in Vietnam used to say, “There are no atheists in foxholes.”

    I got an e-mail from a dear friend this morning who said as a young child he was abused by a homosexual and he has a real problem with gay people. I replied that there is a big difference between a homosexual and a pedophile. I’m strait and I enjoy sex with women. Does that mean I am attracted to or would ever touch a child? Of course not! But too many people lump anything they disagree with or don’t understand or fear in the same category.

    On another note, I have blocked Paul C’s future posts because of a long post he wrote using very offensive and hateful language. He believes it was because he posted previously that I only wanted you to buy my books. I don’t believe in censorship of honest opinion and debate. But when someone starts spewing hatred for the sake of hatred, I draw the line. I appreciate the fact that most of us can disagree but still be respectful of others’ opinions.

  21. Thanks, Nick. We didn’t need to hear any more hatred than we do every day already.

    RE the child molestation by homosexuals: Statistically, 90% of molesters are straight men. About the same as the general population. There is also the odd woman molester. I have no stats on them.

    And we send good thoughts to your father in law. I hope his health improves soon.

  22. concerned in Illinois says:

    Another good decision, Nick. I felt his comments were beginning to turn ugly.

  23. Alan Whitcomb says:

    I don’t have a dog in this fight but I will have to say that for much of my life I have been homophobic. But as I get older and mellow out I have come to realize that what the hell does it matter? We are treating the homosexual population the same was we did blacks when I was a kid. It wasn’t right then and it isn’t right now.

  24. Julie L. says:

    I have an uncle who truly believes the Bible teaches us that “niggers” (his ugly word, not mine) are a subspecies and no more than animals. He also believes that God hates interracial marriage because blacks are no more than beats and that makes it beastiality. Obviously he also believes that God hates homosexuals. But that doesn’t make it right just because he believes it from his interpretation of the Bible!

  25. BobH says:

    I agree with the idea that same sex marriage should be legal and I disagree with the idea that it should be left to the states — primarily because of the issue of reciprocity. Consider this example (and I suspect there are many others): Here we are approaching our favorite day of the year — April 15, Tax Day!! Pull up the good old 1040 and what’s the first thing you encounter — Filing Status with the choice “Married filing jointly”. I appreciate all the talk about love and commitment but the word “Married” is a legal term with financial consequences. To continue… after I finish my federal return, I work on my state return, where I also have to select a filing status. A short way down the form, I am instructed to enter my AGI by copying the number from line ?? of my federal return. Now how does a sane honest person deal with this mess without committing perjury?

    My son agrees with expanding the right to marry the one you love — all of them.

  26. Bill Daines says:

    Nick, I’m always sorry to hear people really getting nasty when responding. Its always going to happen with politics, sexual preference, gun rights on and on and on!

    I think its great when folks can keep civil but I always say remember to agree to disagree but don’t get nasty.

    And you are a great man who we all Love!

  27. Marnin says:

    Thank you Nick for blocking Paul. It is nice to see that including Paul, only three posters to your blog are homophobic and or hateful to others. It is encouraging to read all those who have had positive comments to your post. Maybe there is still hope that we can convince others to open their minds and their hearts to all their fellow human beings.

  28. And by the actions of SCOTUS’ actions today, it looks like we will see the end of official discrimination in our lifetimes. I never thought I would see it happen.
    Unofficially, there will always be Pauls around, I know, but some folks need to hate. It is the only way they feel superior.

  29. Mark says:

    Applying your logic: if a man loves his daughter, they should be able to get married. Right? After all, “love is love”.

    A woman loves her German Shepard, who are we to object to the happy couple being joined in holy matrimony? They love each other, and “love is love”.

  30. Sharon Ortloff says:

    Mark obviously misses the point – was he drunk or just waiting to answer misguidedly? LOVE IS LOVE FOR PEOPLE – no matter their sex. I wish people would look for the good in others and not waste their time with hate or any other form of negativity. Maybe that is why our President is the way he is. – I did not vote for him but the majority did, so I as an American keep respect for his office and keep hoping for the best. As to gays I think they should have marriage rights. Nick I generally agree with you & love your honesty – keep up the good work.

  31. Carl says:

    I am not homophobic and I don’t hate gays are anyone else. It compels me to love everyone. Jan I believe you will get what you want whether its now or later because that’s the way our country is going and I don’t believe its Gods will that’s all I am trying to point out. May my God bless you and yours.

  32. Oh Carl, it is so sad that you feel compelled to do anything, by your god or anyone else’s. And why would you think that it is just me who wants civil rights for the entire population of the US? Seems as if it should be everyone who wishes that, does it not? And helps to make it so.

  33. Connie Bradish says:

    Love is Love. That’s what has been the point of Nick’s presentation. So if you love, do it. Why are those of you out there against 3 or more people in a “marriage”? Where do you get the number 2? You made it up. Where does it have to be between humans? You made it up. Why can’t it be close relatives? You say it’s genetic problems. So? If the people involved want to take the risk, why not? Why do you have the right to tell them it’s wrong? We don’t tell other people with known genetic problems, they can’t marry. If love is OK and that’s the basis for “marriage,” then it should be anything goes for “marriage.” You are denying the civil rights of other people to express their love in their own way. Just because you want it to be 2 or just humans or just people over 18 is selfish and denying the rights of others to “do their own thing.” You are opening Pandora’s box folks. Who decides what the limits are? You, me, government, each person or group of persons?

  34. Thanks Connie, for sharing your opinion. Don’t we wish that everyone was like you.
    I know that I had a huge bias toward Christians who knocked on my door to try to ‘convert’ me. Took me the better part of 50 years to say to them, “If your beliefs work for you, then go for it.” And go on my heathen ways. Now my life belief system is ‘As long as how you think doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s fine with me.”

  35. BobH says:

    My final comment. In my last comment, I tried to point out that most of the talk on this issue is about love, civil rights, morality, and religion with a few words about incest and beastiallity(sp?)thrown in for comic relief. I can agree with most of it and tolerate those I don’t agree with…BUT…we as a society have made “married” a very real legal term with very real financial benefits and penalties. In the Supreme Court testimony this week, someone used the number 1,100 federal financial benefits associated with the word “Married” or “Spouse”. Potentially that is a lot of hard cash into or out of someone’s pocket. That fact usually causes people to “rise above their principles” — otherwise known as “I will stick to MY beliefs until MY wallet is affected”.

    Traditionally it is the state governments that issue marriage licenses and marriage certificates and the federal government accepts whatever the state accepts. So if my state refuses to allow same sex marriage, then those people would be shut out from federal (and state) benefits allowed to those whom the state has chosen to allow to marry. Reciprocity then becomes an extremely important word not just an after thought.

    Speaking of after thoughts….Ships captain’s are authorized to perform marriages. I wonder how this whole issue impacts those marriage licenses and marriage certificates. WOW!! Maybe we have a whole new business opportunity for the cruise industry — marriage cruises.

    Hey Nick!!! Probably time to shut this one off.

  36. Connie says:

    Right on! Well said, as usual, Nick.

  37. Elz says:

    @ Connie Bradish and everyone else who says “why not children, animals, etc.”:

    First of all, Connie, I agree with you on the number 2. If three or more informed, consenting adults want to get married, they should legally be able to. It should be a problem for the lawyers to work out how survivor benefits and such are handled.

    The key words here, though, are “INFORMED,” “CONSENTING,” and “ADULT.” A German Shepherd, or any other animal, cannot give an informed consent. A child cannot give an informed consent. The seriously mentally handicapped or insane cannot give informed consent.

    If a man wants to marry his ADULT daughter, and she can give informed consent (meaning that she has not been hidden away from the world and knows from experience how our society and the world works), then they should be able to. If they both (or three or four) agree, if they’re of sound mind and functional in society, if they pay taxes and have worked out their legal marriage contracts, then by all means, they should be able to be married. Their private decision doesn’t affect or harm society in any way.

    I may not agree with it, but if it doesn’t hurt me then there’s no reason why there should be a law against it. Laws are supposed to be for protection. Who are they protecting?

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