In Arizona a young woman named Jodi Arias is on trial for the brutal murder of her boyfriend. In Texas a violent parolee killed in a shootout with police has been linked to the murder of the chief of the Colorado prison system. North Korea and Iran are building up their nuclear weapon capabilities. And in dusty hellhole villages and the back rooms of shops in Third Word countries around the globe, terrorists are building bombs and plotting havoc.

And here at home, people are upset because a gay couple wants to have the right to be legally married. They say it will be the end of life as we know it. It will threaten the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. It’s a sin.

Bullshit. Love is love, and I’d rather focus on the fact that among all of the hatred and doom and gloom of today’s world, two people are willing to say “I love you, I am committed to you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” And I don’t care what those two people have or don’t have between their legs. It’s about what’s in their hearts.

How will life as we know it end? Will the stars fall out of the sky? Will the seas suddenly go dry, or the sky turn green, or the earth stop turning on its axis? How does the marriage of a gay couple threaten the marriage my wife and I have? Will one of us suddenly say, “Hey, those two are married. I’m leaving you!”?

We live in a world where throwaway marriages are as common as disposable diapers, and we treat Hollywood types who jump from marriage to marriage and bed to bed faster than a louse in a flophouse as some sort of royalty. Yet we say two people who love each other is a sin. I know some very devout Christians. But I also know a lot of Bible thumpers who spend more time hating than praying. I was taught in Sunday School that God can take any form. I wonder what would happen if they get to the Pearly Gates and discover that God is a black Jewish lesbian?

Love is love. It doesn’t matter what a couples’ gender is, and it’s none of my business or yours, or of government’s who somebody choses to love and spend their lives with. Our nation’s Declaration of Independence begins by stating that all men are created equal. If we believe that, it is our responsibility to allow all people the same right to marry who they choose.

Love is love. End of story.

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87 Comments on Love Is Love

  1. Karen says:

    Amen! There is no reason in the world that I have yet that has explained to me why they are not allowed to marry. Two men, Otto women who love each other should be allowed to marry and be happy.

  2. John Brown says:

    On this you and I agree Nick!

  3. Jim@HiTek says:

    Yeah, why should hetero’s be the only people who suffer? :)

  4. Paul Stough says:

    Being required to get the blessing of the government(a marriage license) has nothing to do with love.


  5. Mike Miller says:

    Great post Nick. Who cares? I sure don’t. I’m too busy living my own life. Keep telling it like it is.

  6. Ted Young says:

    I sit here crying as I read your blog my daughter just pointed me to. Six years ago I disowned my son because he said he was gay & in a commited relationship. I was a different person than I am now and keep telling myself its none of my bizwacks who he loves as long as he’s happy. But reading this made it all crystal clear to me. In a world where people are slaughtering one other every day love is rare and precious. I need to make some apologieses

  7. Sheila Wardley says:

    Oh Bad Nick I love you!!!! A friend referred me toward this blog an hour or so ago and you said all of the things I have wanted to but don’t have the courage to. Thanks for speaking your (and my) mind. I liked what you had to say so much that I went back and read your last four posts, then clicked the link to you bookstore and bought all 3 of your mysteries and your 2 Highway History books!

  8. Joe Woodruff says:

    I have three sisters. One has been married and divorced so many times I lost count. I think she’d on husband #6. Another is living with an abusive man after 10 years in an abusive marriage. In both cases there was/has been infidelity on both her and her men’s parts. She has two kids neither by her ex or her current man. Sister number three has been with her same sex partner since college for over 20 years. That’s the one my parents look down on and consider a failure. Try to figure that one out if you can because I sure can’t!!!!

  9. Fred Wishnie says:

    Ah, Nick – You are a prince among men.

  10. Paul C. says:

    Nick are you a switch hitter that plays both sides? Sure sounds that way to me. No wonder your wife does all the heavy work.Somebody has to be the man of the house. This gay stuff is sickening and makes me want to puke!

  11. Linda Sand says:

    The thing that gets me is two people in love can live together for many, many years yet not have the right to have a say in each other’s medical care or even to visit in Intensive Care. That is just wrong!

  12. Jennifer Beeman says:

    No Nick, the Bible say marriage is a holy institution between a man and a woman. THAT’S the end of the story!

  13. Dale says:

    The Bible is not the law of this country and should not dictate the laws of this country. And to Paul, just because you do not support gay marriage, is no reason to sling insults at Nick.

    I believe government should stay out of our bedrooms in all aspects, from gay marriage to abortion. Equality is the basis of our country and should remain that way.

  14. Jim@HiTek says:

    @Paul C. : The most ridiculous comment ever posted on Nick’s blog.

    Doesn’t matter what the bible says. It’s just a book with fewer and fewer adherents every year. It will die out as surely as worshiping Thor, or Zeus, or the sun god Ra did.

  15. Jennifer Beeman says:

    Yes Dale, the Bible IS the law of the land! One nation under God. In God we trust.

  16. Marcella Wright says:

    Paul C it’s been my experience that men who question other people’s sexuality are usually unsure of their own. Could that be the case here? And Jennifer, the Bible is a book that has been written and rewritten by men for centuries, each one adding or taking away whatever his own biases and interpretations are. Even among the King James version there are differences.

  17. Jim@HiTek says:

    And those stupid ‘additions’ to the money and the pledge were forced on us. They are modern. I’ve never recited ‘One nation under’ since it first showed up in the 50’s, preferring to keep silent on such an obvious push by religious fanatics to force it on children.

  18. Thank you Nick. How on earth did our country get to the place where citizens vote on basic rights? Those christians are taught to hate at an early age. And now the SCOTUS thinks those rights are coming too soon. “After all, it was 50 years before segregation was made illegal.” They are gonna let it simmer, while we are denied civil rights.

  19. Marnin says:

    Nick this is a fabulous blog. I agree with my wife and would like to add a couple of thoughts. To Paul I hope I never come face to face with such a bigoted human being. People like you have caused so much hurt and deaths in this country and the world. It seems you would fit right in with the Westboro Church in Kansas. People who walk with blinders on, have no compassion beyond their small view of the world.
    To Jennifer, I can’t understand how people like you feel the Bible is the end all and be all. Christianity is the last of a long long list of religions created by mankind to “explain why we are here.” Not only that, it is one of the only religion that has split into so many factions because the original version did not “fit” their life style. For example, The Church of England created because Henry the VIII was not allowed to divorce so he formed his own Church. We have the Mormons who believed in having more than one wife. Then there are the Baptists, Episcopalians, Greek Orthodox, Lutherans, Anglican/Episcopalian, Amish, Presbyterian, Quakers, Seventh-day Adventists, and our newest the “Born Again.” So the Bible is not the end of the story.
    And let’s not forget Christianity is not the only religion in this country and we should not be dictated by yours. This country was created with the fundamental belief in the Freedom of Religion. It was colonized by people fleeing from Religious persecution in Europe.
    As Nick said “Love is Love” and that really is THE END OF THE STORY!
    Responses of hate do not make this country strong. Love and compassion for our fellow human beings, no matter their color, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation makes us a better and stronger country.

  20. J.C. Webber III says:

    Good for you Nick. Thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth. And thanks to all the folks in the comment section who are standing with you.

  21. Thank you, Marnin. You speak with great logic and knowledge.

    Now excuse me while I pay my gay income taxes, shop for gay groceries, gay cook dinner, and gay kiss my partner of 40 years.

    Watch out, there’s a queer in your midst who might corrupt all you hets out there.

  22. George Stoltz says:


    One of your finest moments, Nick. Thanks for the blog. And to Marnin: yours is one the best replies. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    And to Paul C. I hope no one in your family disappoints you by coming out.

  23. What a wonderful post, one that hits close to my heart. I have many gay friends and I just want them to be as happy as I have been.

    To those with hateful comments, I feel sorry for you and your shriveled point of view. I am MORE than proud to call Nick & Terry close friends and am appalled at the accusations thrown at them.

  24. Paul C. says:

    Don’t worry about me or my family Stoltz. I raised my kids right and taught them not to be queers. And to the rest of you who have a problem with me speaking my mind isn’t this still a free country?

  25. Paul C, this is not a free country as long as you and your ilk are allowed to preach hatred.
    Don’t forget 10% is not enough. We recruit!

  26. Paul C. says:

    Give me a break. Nick don’t give a rats ass if your strait or queer or bi or whatever. This is all about getting you to read his blog and click those ads and buy his books so he can make money.

  27. Nick Russell says:

    Paul, I seldom respond to blog comments and I try to allow people to express their opinion freely. You can say what you want about me, but if you continue to use offensive language and name calling again you’re going to be blocked.

  28. You can always tell an uneducated bigot. Paul C. forgot to study grammar or punctuation in school.

  29. concerned in Illinois says:

    Paul C seems to be stirring the pot a bit here. I notice in one of his responses he said: “I raised my kids right and taught them not to be queers.” I guess that I have to infer that Paul believes that the parents of gay and lesbian children taught them to be “queers” {his term,not mine}.

  30. Marnin says:

    Paul you never cease to amaze me. You taught your kids not to be queer. How did you do that? Did you bully them and tell them you better not be one of those queers or else?
    You really think gays and lesbians were taught by their parents to be who they are! Boy do you have your head in the sand. Sexual orientation is not taught and if you believe it is you are even more bigoted than I first thought.
    Continue speaking your mind and show the rest of us the type of person you are. It seems that except for Jennifer who mistakenly believes the Bible is the law of the land and not our Constitution, you don’t have too many supporters here. Thank “God.”

  31. Once again, Marnin, you amaze with your wisdom. Donna, thank you for your support as well. George, thanks to you too. It feels good to not be hated out loud.

  32. Jim@HiTek says:

    I’m beginning to think that one of the posters here is a 14 yo boy trolling. Person I’m talking about of course is Paul C.

  33. Jim, I think a 14 yo could not hate that much. Most of the youngsters of this age think: “Gay? So what?”

    That level of ignorance takes years to attain. Paul C could be a 40 yo troll.

  34. Jim@HiTek says:

    Ah, Jan, true. Yes, prolly a 40 yo troll.

  35. Ya know, if it weren’t for you straight parents, there would be no gay folks. Or maybe we sprung full blown from the head of Zeus…….

  36. Dave Mingus says:

    Nick once again a well thought out post. And I will say that Nick can look at things as objectively as anyone. I don’t care personally one way or the other on this subject. But I do understand the right to express your ideals and feelings without being sensored or being ridiculed for doing so. Same sex marriage should be the decision of the two marrying, not anyone else. No different than someone saying I couldn’t marry the wife I have had for the last 37 yrs. It was my choice, the way it should be. Government doesn’t belong in this arena!!

  37. BuckeyePatti says:

    Everyone deserves to be loved. I raised my children to be good, kind, productive human beings and never once thought about making sure they weren’t raised “queer”. Always knew if that was their path, I would still love them just the same!
    As to the comment that this post is meant to stir book sales…BLEH. People buy Nick’s stuff because he is an excellent writer.

  38. Carl says:

    From my point of view no one is hitting on the real issue. Do you believe states have the right by elections to govern. The gay movement has lost that battle and now they want 5 old people in robes to decide in there favor.

  39. Carl, we have not lost sight of that. No one has the right to legislate civil rights. Not states, not 9 old folks, not the president, not you nor me. The constitution supposedly set these out. We just selectively choose what’s convenient for us to believe.

  40. Guay Ralph says:

    Another great post, Nick. I’ve learned that “It’s none of my business what others think about me.” Then there are the Haters… Makes those who love look that much better. Peace…

  41. Wayne from PA says:

    First of all, while I often find Nick much more conservative than my liking, I’m delighted to see him on this side of this issue. I believe everyone, gay, straight, white, black, brown, yellow, or green, should have the same rights.

    @Carl. You question is valid, but the problem is more complex than that. Two quick observations.

    One, that is the same argument that was made for legal discrimination…that states have the right to make laws that restrict equal treatment…but the “All men are created equal” clause is a federal matter and does give SCOTUS the right to look into that.

    Secondly, I heard today on the news (yeah, I know) that there are over 200 FEDERAL laws on the books that use marriage as a status for provisions of that law…even though federal law does not define marriage. So, the federal gov’t does have a stake in the definition of marriage since there are people that are not getting the “benefits” of those laws.

    Just MHO.

  42. Connie Bradish says:

    I believe that marriage is between 1 man & 1 woman. Thru the centuries humans have worked on various combinations and this one combination seems to work the best for people & families. It is also a religious union.

    When you expand marriage to include 2 men or 2 women because of “love” then you must also admit that “love” includes other combinations. We have laws on the books against the following: more than 2 people, age restrictions, close relatives (parent & child, siblings, 1st cousins), a woman and her dog, a man and his sheep, a couple and their pet. So if we allow “love” to be the determining factor then all the other laws should be thrown out as well. If you don’t see this happening if same sex marriage is allowed, you are not paying attention.

    Government should have contracts for relationships that involve money, kids etc. If the government wants to allow 2 people of any sex, three or more people of any sex, people of any age, humans and nonhumans to obtain this contract, that’s the government’s choice.

    But government needs to GET OUT of the marriage business. Because REAL marriage will always be between 1 man & 1 woman.

    No Nick, I don’t think you have thought this one through to the inevitable conclusion of what marriage will become when you open Pandora’s box.

  43. Marnin says:

    Connie I have to respectfully disagree with you. A quick history internet search provided the following: While it is a relatively new practice that same-sex couples are being granted the same form of legal marital recognition as commonly used by mixed-sexed couples, there is a long history of recorded same-sex unions around the world. Various types of same-sex unions have existed, ranging from informal, unsanctioned relationships to highly ritualized unions. A same-sex union was known in Ancient Greece and Rome, in some regions of China, such as Fujian province, and at certain times in ancient European history. These same-sex unions continued until Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire. A law in the Theodosian Code (C. Th. 9.7.3) was issued in 342 AD by the Christian emperors Constantius II and Constans, which prohibited same-sex marriage in ancient Rome and ordered that those who were so married were to be executed.

    As you can see it wasn’t until Christianity came and the Roman government made a law against same sex unions.

    As for your “other love combinations” you are really off base. We prohibit sibling relationships because of the danger to future offspring. Last I looked animals are not on the same intellectual and reasoning plain that humans are. They cannot make the same vows of commitment that humans can. They can and do offer unconditional love to their loving owners but that is not what we are talking about when it comes to human relationships.
    Looking at your arguments there is no inevitable conclusion other than we will allow our fellow human beings the happiness and rights that everyone should enjoy.

  44. Lloyd says:

    Okay,Connie said it best!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. KatheK says:

    My parents taught me to be straight and when it appeared they weren’t being convincing enough, I was threatened with death. It scared me enough that it took me 20 years of unhappiness and fear before I could shake off the shackles of their ‘teaching’. Being gay or lesbian is not an issue of being taught or a decision one makes. You either are or you aren’t…It’s a natural condition. Hiding one’s true self or living a fulfilling life is the decision one makes. Thank you, Nick, for sticking your neck out.

  46. Once again, Marnin, your knowledge of the history of marriage is mind blowing. My terminal degree is in philosophy of religion and I cannot come close. Maybe because it was granted in 1969 .

    Sadly we have to contend with the Connies and Lloyds of this country. We can only hope they have the capacity to see the world as it is and has been, not as it is dictated by the leaders of their religions.

  47. PS: We must realize that knowledge and logic cannot change the minds of those whose world is based on blind belief and emotion.

  48. Elsie says:

    I guess the idea that beastiality is somehow even tentatively related to homosexual unions must make some weird sort of sense to some people, but as a “het” married 43 years to my “first” husband, that specious argument offends me every time I hear it.

    Way too many loving people have been denied access to their dying partners by estranged blood relatives of the patient who never approved of the relationship and yet as “the next of kin” got the legal say regarding access and final arrangements.

    THAT’S what is offensive to me, beyond the beastiality b.s. And it is just one more reason to my way of thinking why the loving God of my youth obviously is not the hating god of the current bible-thumpers who wouldn’t recognize Jesus if they fell over him. The haters would be pee-ohed that the sandal-wearing, bearded, peaceful guy bothered them with his gentle admonitions to love others, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and mind your own damn business.

  49. Chris says:

    Oh boy….the pot is stirred

  50. Marnin says:

    Jan I agree with you completely. Unfortunately blind belief and emotion has caused a large part, if not most, of the pain and suffering in our history and the world.

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