Or else I’d cry at how dumb so many people are. I’m sorry, I really would. Lately it feels like the nutcases are coming out of the woodwork faster than roaches in a Toledo slum. And having gone to high school in Toledo, I can tell you they have a lot of roaches!
I have a friend who is selling his business, a used bookstore in the beautiful White Mountains of Arizona, due to health reasons. He has it priced at just $12,000 because he needs to move it fast. Not being familiar with computers, I helped him out by posting it on Craig’s List, and while the ad has his telephone number, any e-mail response comes to me.
The other day I got an e-mail that was so obviously a scam that it was laughable: Dear blessed friend, I hope you are having a wonderful and healthy day. I want to buy your item as is advertised. I am currently working in Washington D.C. I wish to deposit into your bank account the funds for this item. I have been blessed to enter a very large inheritance and God has moved me to find you. I feel your price for the item is too generous so I feel moved to deposit the amount of U.S. $50,000 into your banking institution in your name. Please respond to me with information dear friend so that we might move this transaction forward.
The sad part isn’t that some third world scam artist can’t even come up with an e-mail that sounds at all real, but rather that they send hundreds of these things out a week because there are people dumb enough to fall for their ploys.
Of course, we have plenty of homegrown idiots as well. Consider the e-mail that I got last night from not one, not two, but three different people with this picture attached and the claim that President Obama has ordered that all military latrines be remodeled to accommodate two stools each in a private room to allow gay soldiers to have sex while on duty.
For the record, this is a toilet in Russia that has been making the rounds on the internet to demonstrate Russian government wastefulness, in case you get tired of hearing about our own government’s wastefulness.
And then there is the great Gay Head conspiracy. According to this one that I’ve heard about from a couple of people, President Obama has ordered the National Park Service to create a new National Park called Gay Head on Cape Cod that is “set aside solely for homosexuals as a monument to their decadent lifestyle.” The name itself celebrates a gay sex act, according to the e-mail I got, and was chosen to be offensive to Christians and heterosexuals to make the statement that gay sex is now an accepted part of American society.
Well, not exactly. Gay Head dates back to 1870, when the Massachusetts town by that name was incorporated, taking its name from a rocky promontory that juts out into the water from Martha’s Vinyard.
I have no idea what the fools who start these silly rumors will come up with if they find out there’s a town in Montana named Butte!
Tags: Cape Cod, conspiracy theories, Craig's List, e-mail scams, Gay Head Massachusetts, gay lifestyle, Gay soldiers, government wastefulness, military latrines, National Park Service, President Obama, small business for sale, third world scam artist, Toledo Ohio, used bookstore, White Mountains of Arizona